'Don't talk about periods to boys, don't you have any shame?'

“We are told to sleep either on ground or separate bed while on periods”

How do you think a 12 year old girl would react to this statement? What does this instruction actually implies? The simple physical change happening to adolescent girls turns those 4-5 days into an unimaginable nightmare – something that not just haunts them during the stated days but also on the days when there is anticipation as to when they will get periods. It becomes even more difficult when periods come with the do’s and don’ts without being explained the actual reasons. The whispers around periods are so strong that eventually it becomes a problem, disease or something that is dreaded not just by girls but by adult women.

In order to debunk taboos, cultural dilemma and normalize this physical change, we engaged with boys and girls of Choti Si Khushi on ‘menstruation’. The session began with showing a sanitary pad to the participants inquiring whether they have seen it, if yes then what it is used for. And at the very moment, every one of them busted into laughter, shy giggles but few faces just fell down instantly. And that was the moment that emphasized the importance of the session even more. From the raise of hands, we came to know that very few girls have experienced periods. 

Just before we could initiate the conversation on periods, a girl started crying suddenly. On being asked as to what happened, she shared, “Why are you talking about periods when boys are present here? My mother and aunt says that we shouldn’t talk about all this with boys, that’s not right. If they come to know about it, god knows what would happen. Also god don’t forgive me, it’s wrong. Boys can take advantage of this discussion as it is they have plenty of reasons to mock at us, tease and trouble us!”

Indeed the experience was terrifying considering a 13 year old had so many of the reasons so as to not discuss periods – Family, God and Boys! But isn’t it important for girls to know about what is happening with them and why would these 3 have become their enemies? Or so she thinks!

With the help of descriptive chart paper – we engaged with the participants on what are periods? Why do girls have periods? Why do we need sanitary pad- are there any alternatives and more!

Once, the understanding on menstruation was built, the participants were invited to share ‘Do’s and Dont’s for girls during periods that they have heard?’

‘Girls shouldn’t engage in physical activity like playing games or running too fast’

‘Girls are not allowed to visit temples, pray or touch tulsi plant’

‘Girls are not allowed to touch or eat pickles, must avoid eating sour and spicy food’

‘Girls are asked to sit properly and not sit with legs wide open’

‘They are told not to talk about periods with anyone- that’s why they whisper in ears while asking for pads even with their mothers’

‘You shouldn’t take out pads in front of boys’

‘Girls are asked not to wash their hairs or take bath during periods’

‘You should wash your clothes separately; not allowed to enter kitchen and cook food’

‘Don’t eat hot food, avoid cold water, don’t take medicine’

And with every logic, each of the statement was questioned, reasoned and then declared as a taboo and not true thereby establishing the fact that menstruation is a physical change that happens to girls when they enter puberty and it shouldn’t pull them down or restrict their capacity to do things.

The participants were then invited to translate their learning for the day into role plays. For me, they are unique way to express yourself, challenge your fears and comfort zone and display your understanding. Five different situations were given to 5 groups- participants being selected randomly.

The first group debunked the most widely accepted and practiced taboo – ‘Girls are impure and shouldn’t engage in doing puja especially during festivals’ – Here the mother gets angry over the daughter asking her not to tie rakhi to her brother and do the puja during Rakshabandan. However their neighbor makes the mother understand that this is a big taboo and has no relation to periods. All these messages can hamper the growth of child and is not justified considering periods is basically a physical change experienced by girls at the onset of puberty.

The second play stumped me- in this a girl is traveling with her two male friends in a public transport. She gets periods and doesn’t have pad at that moment. So her friends first comforts her and then goes to the pharmacy store to get pad for her. The lady at the counter refuses to give them pad saying that they are boys. They don’t lose heart, explains again but when the woman refuses to listen to them they go to two women sitting close by. One of the woman refuses to even speak to them, however other lady gives them the pad. They then give this pad to their friend. The play doesn’t stop here they show the conversation between the two ladies – where one of the says that you shouldn’t have interacted with the boys, the other one responds that this is no big deal, just imagine having periods and no one giving you pad just because they are ashamed of it – there is no shame in having periods!

In the third play, where the student gets period in the school, the teacher gives her the pad and explains her everything to as to comfort her. When a boy asks the teacher as to what happened, why the girl was bleeding – the teacher doesn’t hesitate but explains everything thereby debunking the myth that this information shouldn’t be shared with boys.

In the last play – there is a match between boys and girls; the girl’s captain gets periods and doesn’t wish to play. The teacher here shares everything about periods and also motivates girls to play despite being on periods emphasizing the importance of physical activity during menstruation. The unique aspect in their role play was that here a boy played the role of girl on periods.

All these plays warmed my heart – not because they created and executed them exceptionally well considering the time but how each of them have caught the minor to major information about periods and used it meticulously in the given situation without hesitation. Even the most shy girl who hardly spoke could explain the importance and normalcy around periods!