‘I have been called names because I am fat’

‘I am fat, not intelligent, my clothes are weird, black. She might think I am short tempered and irritating. She also thinks that I purposely doesn’t talk to her nicely’

One of the challenges faced by adolescents are their looks, constant need to be desirable, accepted and loved by more and more people. Sometimes obsessing about looks, or comparison of appearance may lead them to the path that can do more harm to their bodies than good. It is also important for them to understand that what they see in television, movies is not something very real and lot of efforts are done by actors and models to achieve a particular look. It could be unhealthy for them to try this at this young age which lead us to engage with the adolescents of Choti Si khushi on the topic ‘Body Image: Do I like my body?’

In the first activity, the participants were invited to choose a partner with whom they don’t usually interact; then they were asked to sit in silence post which they wrote what their partners might be thinking about their looks or appearance -

‘I don’t look good, I am black however I am good in studies and sports’

‘I am not beautiful, I am black, too thin, long limbs and my hairs are too thin’

‘He might be thinking that I am weak and don’t have good clothes to wear’

‘She might be thinking as to why I am sitting with her as I always tease her’

‘He might be thinking as to why I get so angry? He might be feeling bad as he doesn’t want to sit next to me’

‘I am very beautiful, but slightly fat and have pimples on my face’

‘She thinks that I am fat. She is jealous of me since I beat her in a race once. Also I guess she thinks I am ugly’

 ‘She might be thinking that he can’t talk properly, he stammers and has lot of moles on the face. I talk a lot even though I am quite smart’

‘This girl has lot of attitude but she is beautiful’

‘She might be thinking that I engage in fight a lot, have attitude. She doesn’t like me at all. But I don’t think anything bad or good thing about her. I was thinking about my friend mostly. I might be having dark complexion but I still dress up as I enjoy it’

Post this, the participants were divided into groups and were asked to discuss on the questions related to body – what according to them is description of perfect boy or girl? Do they categorize their body as perfect- if not then why?

Attributes of perfect boy – he must be beautiful, have six pack abs, good height, fancy hairstyle, fit body, no marks on face, shouldn’t indulge in intoxication, handsome.

Attributes of perfect girl- Beautiful, when a girl dances she looks pretty, good height but little shorter than boy, good figure, healthy, active, shouldn’t abuse or use cuss words, fit, no pimples, silky hairs, fair, slim, she shouldn’t throw attitude.

‘A perfect girl looks like ** (name of the participant) because she is beautiful, dances well and can make any boy fall for her’

Most of them got to know about perfect body from television, advertisement, friends and actors like Salman, Tiger Shroff and Varun Dhawan.

‘I have been called names because I am fat’

‘I have been taunted and called names because of my height’

‘I have been teased because of my color and people often make fun because of my color’

Using these examples and their desire to change looks/appearances at such an early stage of life, we engaged on body image and its impact.

In the next part of the session, we engaged on peer pressure by inviting the participants to share their experiences if they have ever done something under the influence of their friends.

‘I have beaten some people because they fought with my friends’

‘We tease and trouble girls as group’

‘Smoke and tried alcohol’

‘Lied to my parents, forced my parents to buy a dress because my friend had one’

"I don't like teasing or making fun of others. But when my friends tease others, I join them too"

The participants then displayed their understanding of peer pressure and body image by creating role plays-

The first group depicted the negative impact of body image: Here the girls were rehearsing for annual function; one of the girl has dark complexion so few people were taunting her so one of her friends suggested a whitening cream. She was really sad so she ends up using the cream which doesn’t really changed her color but affected her face. Her friends questioned as to what happened to her face? Taking her example, their teacher explained how we should accept our body and all bodies are different and changing one’s body is not a solution.

In the next role play, there were two friends – one of them being beautiful in socially accepted norms and other one not so beautiful. They depicted how the beautiful one gets accepted, adored and showered with praises and because of this she ends up ignoring her friend. She also suggested her to visit beauty parlor, doing gym and eating less food. This made her even more upset. On the same day, their teacher talks about body image and how it affects self-esteem.

In the third role play, there were 2 boys who tease/stalk girls on constant basis. The girls are scared, they don’t know who to ask for help. Their classmate tried to help them but the other boys beat him badly. He tries again but when the bullies never listen to him. So he tells his teacher about the situation. The teacher hears him out, ask the girls for confirmation while girls affirms the situation however the boys denies it completely. Finally teacher punishes the boys and asks them to stay away from the girls.

The role plays came out very strong depicting the real life situations and how participants could tackle them.