Girl participant: If he
would have asked Paro before the kiss, she would have definitely said NO!
The session on ‘Love,
sex and relationship’ began with the story of Paro who is kissed by her friend
when she was alone in the classroom. The participants were asked to share what
would be their reaction if they were Paro-
‘She might be too
shocked to react’
‘She would slap him
hard and then run away from that place’
‘She would break her
friendship with the boy’
‘She would be very
angry with him’
‘She might be embarrassed
or ashamed’
‘She might ask him as
to why he kissed her’
One of the girl said
that she will kiss him back, following which few participants agreed and shared
that she might fall in love with the boy. On asking ‘do you think the boy
should have asked the girl before kissing her?’ – 80% of the participants
agreed while 20% said there was no need of asking for consent! That’s when this
girl meekly said that the boy knew the girl would say No that’s why he went
ahead and kissed her. This is very dangerous thought, a 12 year old girl saying
that girl’s consent is immaterial clearly reflects that she might have seen or
experienced something along the line! So it became imperative to assert that
consent matters, and saying NO is important and the one who violates consent is
wrong and in no world it is okay to neglect someone’s consent.
In the next activity,
the participants were asked to share ‘whether they have heard this word sex
before? Or seen it?’ in their respective groups
‘I went to my uncle’s
home in the village. There were no one in the house when my cousin showed me
dirty videos on Whats app’
‘I saw condom in my
cousin’ car, then he told me what the purpose of it is’
‘I saw my cousin
watching some bad videos on phone on the roof of our house’
‘I have heard my
friends talk about sex in the school’
‘My friend whenever
sees a beautiful girl talks about having sex’
‘There is lot of sex in
Hollywood movies, actors talk about sex in Bollywood movies’
‘I have seen lot of
rape news in the news channel’
‘I had asked my teacher
directly after the class on reproduction system – she said children are borne
because of sex’
‘Lot of condom advertisement
in TV’
‘Friends keeps pushing
about sex and the conversations around it’
‘I have seen it in the
park, posters of condom in medical stores and random walls. We have seen
papers/pamphlets on the road’
‘Someone got married in
my neighborhood. Their window was open and we saw what was happening’
‘There was rumor in our
society that a particular girl had sex. But later on it was found that it was
all false’
‘My friend told me that
her boyfriend is asking her to have sex!’
These all sharing
emphasis that adolescents are very well aware of this term and many of them
have seen it, or are exploring it so it’s important to engage in the
conversation around sex so that they can make sound decision for themselves.
Post this we screened
two videos where in a 10 year old asks his father about how babies are borne
and what inquiries are condoms? It was evident how gender plays role in these
conversations while boys were very excited to know more about it and were full
of questions on the other hand, girls were quiet, and some of them had turned
pale and were scared! They too wanted to ask questions but being girl asking
questions on sex would put them under radar of shame and shameless which made
them restless!
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