Young students understanding and challenging patriarchy one step at a time!

 ‘Didi, but what can I write here, I don’t get any free time. After going home or even on Sundays, I have to help in household chores. What about those people who don’t have the leisure time?’ shared by a 13 years old student on the question of what is the difference they see in terms of how boys and girls spend their leisure time.

 We at Sahas have been intensively engaging with the students of various schools near Khushipura village to build discourse on gender issues. In continuation of this program, we organized a workshop on ‘gender differences in daily lives’ where 35+ students from a public school in Kakrari gaon participated. On our way to the village, we saw young men standing at the corner of the street, with their bikes, chatting and using the phone. Moving forward, we witnessed older men sitting on charpai lazing around and talking to each other in the middle road. And lastly a frail woman with her head covered with veil balancing a basket of cow dung and a girl barely 7-8 years old also carrying fodder on her head. Most of the people would casually look away or for that matter won’t be bothered by this picture but for me, this is the representation of India which doesn’t feature even in the context of discussion on gender equality. Unfortunately this picture loomed in the workshop on ‘gender difference in daily lives’.

 The workshop started with the brief introduction, agreements and a fun energizer – the competition in the energizer was superb. During the revision on previous session, it was wonderful to see the students remembered learning about gender and how it is seen in our lives. Taking the cue from their sharing, we divided the participants into various groups to discuss gender differences seen in different spaces. We made sure that topic of home and school must be given to both boys and girls groups to see how they see the difference between men and women in these spaces and whether their gender identity affects their discussion.

 Home (Girls group) –

The father does all the agricultural/field related work while mother takes care of household chores.

Girls have to do household chores and help mother in the work while boys don’t do any work.

Family doesn’t give much importance to the girls and that’s why they are not taught much. Boys are given more love and preference; they can study as much as they want.

 

Home (Boys group)-

The boys study while the girls cook food and do household chores.

Boys play cricket, they go to school every day and they handle the responsibility of house.

The girls mustn’t wear short clothes.

 

School –

The girls should wear full clothes.

While the girls play kho kho, boys play hockey and cricket.

Boys chose Science and maths while the girls take home sciences in 10^th class.

 

Public spaces -

Men drive trains and buses.

Boys roam around on bikes while the girls ride bicycle.

Boys can roam around or remain outside late in evenings or nights, girls can’t

Boys wear pant shirt, girls should wear suit salwar

Boys are always outside home, while girls have to work in home and help mother

Girls do make up, some wear jeans and top.

 

Leisure –

Boys in free time play sports like cricket, ride bike, use mobile phone, they roam around with their friends or simply sleep

The girls don’t get free time – they are always doing household chores. If someone sits idle, they are cursed and scolded. Sometimes though girls sit and sing songs or chat with other family members.

 

We engaged in deeper conversations around why do we see these differences? Taking cue from their sharing, the facilitator defined gender and how these differences lead to discrimination and violence. These are rooted in the patriarchal nature of the society that gives many privileges to men in terms of mobility, decision making and access to the resources while depriving girls and women of their basic rights. While, patriarchal mindset is damaging for girls it has adverse effects on boys as well which was discussed. The workshop concluded with the perspective of challenging these gendered mindsets and exploring the idea where girls and boys support each other in different parts of life