‘Girls are not allowed
to study more! They are married off without their wish’ – shared by 13 years
old girl during a workshop on ‘Understanding Gender’ organized in a school in
Khushipura village. This is the horrifying reality many girls live with, in the
rural Uttar Pradesh. We have been working with girls in Khushipura village since
2020 through Sahasi Girls Program focusing on education, health, skill building
and sports through gender lens. Along with this, we have been engaging with the
students of schools nearby to build gender inclusive classroom.
The session on ‘Understanding gender’ began
with the brief introduction and agreements – there was lot of excitement and
curiosity in the classroom. Through chit activity we initiated the discourse on
the difference between gender and sex and concluding that men and women can do
everything, there is only one difference between them which is the body they
are born in!
The participants were invited to share 3 key
messages they have received because they are a boy or a girl –
‘We are not allowed to play or go outside.
Instead the girls are told to make rotis and do household chores.’
‘We are not allowed to do anything without
permission. And if we ask questions, people either scold us or silence us’
‘We are not allowed to dance too. They say do
you go to school to study or to dance?’
‘Boys easily hurl abuses but girls can’t do
that’
‘The boys can go outside anytime they want to.
They don’t need to ask for permission’
‘Girls wear bindi and put makeup’
‘Boys roam around; do absolutely anything when
they have free time. Parents won’t say anything to them. If girls sit for a
while in their free time, mother and father both start scolding her or giving
her some work’
‘In the name of work, some parents stop the
education of girls and make them sit at home while the boys can go to school’
‘If a girl goes out of village to study then
people in the village says what will she do after studying, the boys can earn
so they should go’
‘Boys work more than girls’
‘Boys go outside to earn money, girls can’t do
that’
‘Girls shouldn’t talk much, they shouldn’t go
outside, must ask permission’
‘The boys have to bear the burden of
household, they have to take decisions for the family and they have to work
hard in the fields’
‘What will you achieve by studying more than
boys? Learn how to cook and do household work’
‘What will you do after studying – you will
get married anyways’
‘No one tells boys that they have to get
married, there is no timeline for them’
‘The girls are married
by force, no one considers their choice or ask them anything’
‘You are a girl – don’t use phone, don’t go outside, don’t laugh too much or loudly, talk less, work more and don’t eat hot and spicy things.’
While,
ideating the gender story, a discourse was created how social context has
changed in a way that's quite gendered. Despite, education, work, women are
expected to take care of the household and finances are expected to be dealt by
the men in the family.
We took the example from the students where they were asked their subject choices after 10th grade. A male student said his choice will be Mathematics and female student said her choice will be home science. This is what gender is all about that affects subject choices as well and it becomes all the more important to have these conversations in school
The intention of these conversations in the
classrooms in India is that these gendered barriers can identified, they can
then be challenges especially by the girls so, that they can pursue their
dreams
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