Child sexual abuse: Is it just about good touch or bad touch?

‘I went to a marriage function where some men were drinking alcohol. They were staring at me and my friends in a very uncomfortable way. We ran away from that place.’

The session on ‘child sexual abuse’ is the most crucial part of our Gender, sexuality and reproductive health program. We engage on various issues that adolescents face while in puberty and co-create a safe space where they feel free to ask questions, share and listen to the stories of their peers without the fear of being judged. So, by the time we come to the session on CSA, they are actually comfortable with their bodies and understand the feelings and thoughts related to one’s body.

The idea here is not to just talk about what is good touch or bad touch but a broader objective of understanding feelings associated with the touch – because there may be incidences where someone sees you or makes you uncomfortable in certain way without touching you, there are times when you are confused as to what is happening to me and it becomes difficult to identify if the touch is good or bad? Then what are we supposed to do? When people you trust touch you inappropriately or someone in your family or close relatives does that – how do we understand that touch? Being a child or adolescent will anyone listen to you and help you in those situations? Can you say No or seek help when this happens to you. All these questions are addressed in this session, along with building their capacity to say “NO” to Child sexual abuse and asking for help in the situation of distress.  

The session began with understanding what is good touch and bad touch; the parts of the body that are not supposed to be touched by others without your permission followed by understanding feelings associated with the touch. This is followed by explaining in detail child sexual abuse and what to do if one encounters such a situation.

Girls have shared the incidences of being touched inappropriately by boys, uncles, closely related brothers and neighbors. 

‘I was traveling in the bus where I saw a big boy touching girl in a wrong way’

‘I saw a boy doing bad touch to a girl in my neighborhood. That girl shouted loudly and pushed the boy’

‘While I was dropping my brother to his friend’s place, I saw an uncle touching a girl inappropriately in her private parts, she was asking for help. I ran to help her but then uncle caught me too. We both got very scared, fortunately there was a puja happening close to the street and one of the aunties was passing by. She helped us both.’

‘Me and my sister were getting our food packed from a restaurant, that time I saw 4 boys harassing and touching a girl inappropriately and saying lot of bad words. My sister said we should go and help her. I was reluctant and said that why get in trouble, my sister left me and went ahead to help the other girl out. We both rescued the girl and went to her home to drop her safely’

‘One of the girls in my colony went to fetch water; an uncle followed her and tried to touch her. She started shouting and then ran away. She informed her family who then reported to the police and that uncle was jailed after that’

‘I was alone in my house because my mother had gone to village. Seeing me alone in the house, a boy came in and tried to touch me. I slapped him hard and pushed him’

‘I had gone to a wedding where we all were dancing. One of the boys started dancing close to me and touched me. I was furious so I slapped him in front of everyone’

Post this, we engaged with the girls to create safety action plan so that they can challenge Child sexual abuse. It is an interesting tool where they learn about saying No, asking for help and how to act if someone touches them inappropriately through stories.

‘If I were in place of that girl, I would push him away, run to someone elder and make sure that man gets punishment for touching me. No one should touch others without their permission, this feeling is worse and it doesn’t go just like that.’