When adolescent girls took charge of building their own identity!

“My grandmother wants me to become a teacher. But I wish to become a doctor one day and no matter who tells me what, I would stick to my aim. I will work hard as much as I can to become doctor.”

After working for more than 2 years with the adolescent boys of Government School, Dwarka; Sahas is now in collaboration with yet another Government School for the implementation of ‘gender, sexuality and reproductive health’ program with all girls group. The first session on ‘Identity’ began with the energizer ‘catch the ball and show your crazy side’ – the responses from the participants were very typical for example- I love to study, I like helping people and others. So, the facilitator gave prompts to encourage them to share, also tried sharing some sentences  so that the ones who don’t feel like sharing can raise their hands to confirm whether they have done this or not! The activity took an interesting turn when the session was opened to the participants who were willing to share on their own- one after another, number of girls raised their hands and shared the ‘the crazy thing that they have done!’  

“We were playing hide and seek. We hid the rabbit in the refrigerator as it was coming after us and somehow we forgot about it. Our father found out about it when he opened the fridge for water. He scolded us badly.”

“One day my mother asked me to take care of our tortoise. He kept running here and there, I was trying to catch him but all in vain. Somehow he slipped and fell from stairs-  we couldn’t find me. My mom was so angry”

“I have bunked classes to watch movie with my friends”

“I have jumped in the river”

“Once I was riding bicycle and I ran over a dog. Nothing really happened to him just his tail”

“I enjoy playing cricket”

“My friends and I have bunked classes to organize and attend birthday parties. We do it often and eat pizza too”

The interesting part was that the entire class knew that this set of girls usually bunk classes to go out and eat pizza but nobody was taunting or teasing them, it was like very normal thing to do. Another crucial observation that came to my mind was that none of these are expected to be done by girls – these are the things which usually boys engage in. So listening to these off the gender box activities was first-hand experience that brought a smile on my face.

Post this, the participants were asked to fill pre-assessment forms – there was shy smiles, murmuring while engaging in the questions related to sexual organs of male/female, sex, periods. While everyone knew who gets pregnant, most of them didn’t know what are the private organs of boys, child sexual abuse, body image! However filling these questions peeked their curiosity as they asked the meanings of various words, one of the participants also asked if she could share this with her mother. 

In the next activity, the participants were invited to create their identity maps – where they were supposed to write the words or things that they associate with themselves. The zeal and enthusiasm with which girls prepared their identity cards was heartening as this gave them space to know and reflect on themselves, their likes, dislikes, dreams and aspirations.

“I love playing cricket”

“I enjoy playing football”

“I love trying new delicacies. I love food”

“I believe in speaking truth”

“I do only those things that I want to”

“I love doing something new for myself every day”

“I like watching news so that I know what is happening in the world and stay updated”

“I enjoy troubling others, I absolutely love playing video games, playing with my friends”

“I love eating my lunch in the very first period of the school”

“I love English and I wish to teach English one day”

On asking – how did you feel when things you have written in your identity map match with other student?

‘It was fun, we both love singing. Good to know someone else in the class enjoy music as much as I do’

‘It was nothing great to have things in common’

On asking - how did you feel when things you have written in your identity map find no match with other student?

The girl very enthusiastically replied – ‘I am very happy because this means I am different from others- I am unique.’

Post this, the facilitator explained how our identity doesn’t remain same but changes over the course of time bringing in the focus of various identities that we take up during entire life. This was followed by sharing story of a girl exploring her journey from a child to adolescence to adulthood to build a discourse over the importance of having core values during adolescence and paying close attention to those as they decide what your future selves one becomes. The attention and silence here was way different then what we experienced during the same session with the boys.  There were serious expressions and tears filled eyes showing how they were connecting to the story; some or many relating to the story in their own ways. It seemed that they have all these values or experiences somewhere in them but hearing it out aloud provided much needed support which they might be seeking, made them feel validated and in a way inspired them – if this girl can do it, I can do that too!

 The pointed responses as to the values that the girl in the story held on to throughout her life – ‘Honesty, stood for herself, never changed herself for friends or another, always stood up for discrimination, strong willed’ – facilitated the understanding of self-esteem without much a-do.

During the last activity, the participants were invited to enlist the positive attributes they see in themselves. It was interesting to see them crowding around the chart paper that had qualities written, inquiring about the meanings of various words and quickly putting in the sheet as if this quality belongs to them. I was so happy to see almost everyone writing more than 5 positive qualities in their paper with a huge grin and twinkle in their eyes.