Engaging on the 'physical changes during adolescence' with the boys of Government School

“The good thing about growing up is that we learn that we shouldn’t be touching or behaving inappropriately with girls” shares one of the participants.

The second group of the adolescent participants studying in the Government School comes with uncanny positive and vibrant energy which reflects in each activity – like in energizer, though most of them don’t enjoy dancing but they came forward to engage in ‘Ungli dance’ with so much ease that many other volunteered to do it.   

In the first activity, the participants were divided into the groups where they were asked to discuss on the question – “When did you first come to know that you are a boy or a girl? How did that make you feel?”

“While playing in the school, our sports teacher asked us to make separate lines for girls and boys. Then I went home and asked my grandfather about how boys and girls are different? He shared a big story, I didn’t really understand what he meant by that story but at the end it was clear that being boy is a great thing. Honestly I didn’t understand!”

“I had put up mehndi on my hand one day. In school, my friend told me that I am a boy and I shouldn’t be putting mehndi as this is for girls. I felt weird”

“I was really happy to know that I am a boy as this means I can go anywhere I want to”

“Once I was playing with girls near my home. One of the aunties stopped by and told me to play with boys and not with girls because I am a boy. She also asked what am I doing with the girls? I was not really happy”

“I was wearing what was supposed to be clothes for girls one day when I was a child. My uncle scolded me saying what the hell am I wearing? I shouldn’t be wearing these clothes as they are for girls. It made me feel weird”

“One day in the school, I was going to the toilet when one of my teacher stopped me. He said this toilet is for girls, as you are a boy you should be going to the toilets for boys. At that time, it didn’t make any sense to me”

“While playing with girls, I was curious as to why they have long hairs and I have short hairs. I asked them, they didn’t answer me. So I asked my mother, she told me that girls should have long hairs and you are a boy so you must have short hairs. I was very upset hearing that”

“I have penis that’s why I am a boy”

“My mom told me that you are a boy and you shouldn’t have friendship with girls”

“I felt great that I am a boy because unlike girls I am free to go wherever I want to”

“I always wondered why I have penis. I was curious to know what the difference between girls and boys is”

“When I used to go out with my parents, people used to ask my parents about me – ‘is your baby boy or girl’ with my parents answer as boy – I came to know that I am a boy”

It was interesting to see two groups mentioning that because of their private part, they come to know that they are boys; this was definitely new for us. These conversations also reflected the gendered realities they encounter on daily basis.

In the next part of the session, the participants engaged in creating ‘body maps’ and discussing the questions related to the physical changes that happen during adolescence.

The good things about growing up –

 

“Growing up means you get freedom. We grow up, become smart and fair”

“Height increases, brain sharpens, we become intelligent”

“Our penis also becomes big”

“We learn to behave properly around other people especially girls”

“We learn to save ourselves if caught with girlfriend”

The bad things about growing up-

“The bad thing about growing up is that we start seeing girls differently, behave inappropriately”

“We start teasing people, make fun of them”

“We get hairs all around our private organs and on face which are itchy and sometimes we get swelling if those hairs get plucked by mistake”

“Our voice changes, we become rowdy and trouble people”

 “We invest lot of time on phone chatting, playing games and seeing videos”

This group surprised us in many ways – the ease with which they drew the body map in record time which has never happened till now, they had amazing group dynamics and the body map was very detailed – every group drew penis, pubic hairs etc; the discussion on the questions was very detailed and yet quick. The conversations during various activities gave an impression that they know a lot of things, they are exploring and experimenting as well, use of slang around the private parts of male and female strongly pointed that either these conversations happen on regular basis within their peer groups or they watch porn!

I was surprised to hear one of the boys sharing why these physical changes happen during adolescence as he said that it’s because of pituitary gland. In all, this batch of the participants were amazing, full of energy and openness in terms of learning and sharing as to what is going on in their lives to understand things more!