Building youth leadership to challenge gender inequality in India

 

‘The workshop on understanding gender was fun as well as informative. Through various activities I could see how much gender affects society, and I was reminded of many stereotypes that women and girls face on daily bases. It also emphasized the belief that as the part of society we can bring the changes.’

This year we opened our doors for young people to join us formally in the capacity of intern and volunteers for various positions as part of our mission to bring gender equity in the society. We strongly believe that young people no matter which field they are pursuing for education can be flag bearer of much needed social change in the society. We received an overwhelming 100+ applications from the students who are studying Law, social sciences, Engineering, development studies and so on. One of the intentions was to build their capacity in gender issues thereby providing them with a perspective which they can employ while pursuing their desired career and contribute in building more gender just society.

After rigorous process, seven students from seven different cities Barmer (Rajasthan), Kargil (Ladakh), Patna (Bihar), Hyderabad (Telangana), Kolkata (W. Bengal), Jammu and Pune (Maharashtra) were chosen for internship with Sahas. We organized a workshop on building ‘understanding on gender’ with them before they start working so that they understand our work and vision better.

The online workshop started with a welcome note, brief introduction and agreements to conduct the session where everyone feels included and safe enough to share their stories and experiences. In the beginning we invited them to solve a very simple riddle. It was interesting to see that such excellent students struggling with a question that doesn’t require any skill – it simply indicates how deeply embedded gender norms are that even the most educated people can’t think that  surgeon could be a woman!

When we shared the answer, the surprise on their face revealed that they are now ready to understand how deeply gender impacts society and them.

In the next part, the participants were asked to write ‘3 key messages that they received on being a boy or a girl’. Some of the responses were as follows –

‘Don’t keep your hairs short, girls must have long hairs. Why are you shouting – speak softly. Come home before sun goes down.’

‘You have to work hard, otherwise you won’t get job. I can go out at any time, I don’t have to seek permission. You are a boy, you will definitely be sent to good school.’  

‘I was upset one day and started cry. I was told not to cry because apparently boys must not cry and they compared me with girls. Whenever I engage in household chores, automatically there is a mindset that only girls should do this work, boys mustn’t do that. Even in our university, in the class, boys and girls sit separately. If by any chance a boy sits with a girl, people start spreading rumors, make lewd jokes even friends tease them. This is just the mindset that I see everywhere’

‘Be home by 7 pm, don’t be late. Girls must know how to cook and do household chores. Even though my father is a lawyer, he still told me that law is male dominated field and you must be extra careful and hard working if you want to do something in life’

‘You are too sensitive to make rational decision. Have some control over your emotions. Girls are not good at sports, technical aspects and that is one of the reasons why women are not given leadership roles.’

We then co-created gender story by simple question and answer, and based on that story – what, how and why of gender was established. To deepen the understanding of gender, we engaged in discourse around three statements – First, In most of the households, women cook food while in restaurants across globe, chefs are men.  Some of the arguments were men are considered to work efficiently in high pressure job and dealing with large number of people that’s why they are chef. One of them said that in old times, it was frowned upon for women to work outside home and in such places men assumed that women are available (assumed to be disgraceful) that’s why women didn’t work as chef. But now scenario has changed. Another participant said that working at home, cooking three times for entire family doesn’t give you money that’s why women cook at home while working at restaurants are financially rewarding so most of chef are men.

Second statement - Men should be strong enough to protect their mother and sister; This statement had arguments from both ends; while one of the girls said that it is assumed and constantly emphasized both by family and society that girls are weak and they need protection that’s why men are given that role. While one of the young man said that this assumption is a huge burden and leads to self esteem, confidence and body image issues for boy. They have this constant pressure to look and appear strong which is impossible to carry on.

The third statement stumped everyone - Why do woman go to their husband’s house after marriage and not vice-a versa. Not a single person had any answer for it. One of them said that they need some time to process this statement. Someone said that it is surprising that women are raising the next generation and are still considered weak!

At the end of the workshop, one of the participants asked a question ‘Why is sex work so frowned upon? Women are disrespected and looked down upon but nothing is said about the men who go for sex workers’. This led to an interesting discourse on the intersection of gender and women sexuality.

The participants had lot of things to say about their experience of first time attending a session on gender –

‘It was a good experience participating in the gender session. I learnt lot of things like the society discriminates both men and women; it creates a particular image of what men should do and what women should do – which is not right. Women face a lot of gender inequality and discrimination even in their families and they have to be strong and face those issues as they can’t avoid them. I also learnt ways and what we can do to challenge this age old mindset. I liked the activity of story building in which we had to give answers and I think it was the activity in which everyone participated.’

‘Participating in gender workshop was something new for me. It was informative and fun. It allowed me to share my points and gave me the chance to hear the others. The very first riddle taught me that there's no specific gender for any profession (a mother can also be the surgeon). Secondly gender inequality affects the boys as much as it affects girls. I really liked the activity where we had to share 3 things that we have heard the most being a girl.’

‘My experience attending this workshop was amazing.  I learnt many things like why gender discrimination is prevalent in the society and the reasons behind it. There was one activity I liked most in this workshop where names of some profession and work were given and among them we had to share which are mostly done by women or mostly done by men. This showed us how deep gender discrimination is in our society and we need to end it soon. The distribution of work in the society should be on the basis of skills and not on the basis of gender. Because everyone can work equally, it has nothing to do with gender of the person.’

‘It was incredible experience as it helped me understand different people’s perspective on social issues like gender and gender based violence. I also learnt that it is important for us to challenge societal norms and attitudes only then gender-based violence can be stopped and key to healthy relationships is based on mutual respect and equality.’

‘It was a good experience to engage on prevailing issue of gender in our society. Talking and discussing of the issue is the first step to understand it, hearing other’s perspective and sharing one’s own experience strengthens this understanding. We could relate to each other and figure out how to challenge this and eradicate gender based violence.’