“We have been working on various issues for a long time,
we don’t really have expertise on adolescent issues, so we would really like to
collaborate with you to work with adolescents at our school”
This was the first
conversation we had with the director of Nirmala Deshpande Sansthan, an
organization which works in Panipat for more than 25 years. Though people take
immense pride in sharing their impact, the amazing work they do and how they
are superior even in the social sector, this was the most humble thing we heard
because it meant that they are open, they are able to see what’s missing and
they want to put in efforts needed to improve the situation.
“Did you see the portrait
behind you? Do you know him? And can you guess how old is this painting?” asked
Ram Mohan ji
“I don’t know him! Is
he important personality? May be some years old” I said without much thought,
probably not interested.
And that’s where all
the walls, little bit of judgments, and awkwardness melted as he started sharing
that the portrait belonged to the famous activist, Urdu poet and writer “Hali
Panipati” which is way older than one could imagine (before independence era) ,
he recited his famous gazals on his ideals of women, nation and Independence. I
was taken aback, whatever I presumed about him, he was exactly opposite- I was
impressed beyond words because though he is a famous Supreme Court lawyer and
director of an organization, his love for books, poetry made me connect to him
instantly. This was followed by him explaining the long beautiful history of
Panipat beyond the wars which we had read in the history books.
“So, we had this land, we thought to construct rooms so that they can be
put on rental, there were lot of laborers here living. I used to come here and
see that people fed street dogs with bread crumbs and many a times they left
those crumbs. One day I saw few kids took those bread crumbs instead of dogs.
This changed something, I started teaching these kids, in the construction
area. Initially kids hesitated, but then they started coming. And that’s how we
converted that building into the school for the street children most of them
come from minority communities like Muslims, Dalits etc . I feel education is a
powerful tool of change, it comes from my own personal experience. I am what I am
because of education and I am sure these children can reach wherever they want
to with this education”
And that’s where our collaboration found its new meaning, because both the
organizations started their work from personal connect. For past 2 years we
have been working with organization led by inspiring and head strong women,
this was our first endeavor with a man leading an the collaborating
organization, and unknowingly I end up watching how he conducts himself in his
home. And again I was not disappointed, because I could see how Ram Mohan ji
and Krishna Kanta ji complemented each other, be it as co-directors of the
organization, or how they both had say in the Hali Apna school or at home. They
took turns in cooking, when Kanta ji was unwell, he made breakfast, chai and
even dinner and interestingly we were not treated as Trainers or guests- it was
very fluid and mutual that we ended up helping each other which doesn’t happen
so easily!
What I also appreciated that the integrity of values that he spoke about
which was quite visible in both his personal and professional life, the way he
has brought up his children is an example how one should treat their children
specially in a country like India where the parents believe that controlling their
child’s life is loving them without giving them the opportunity to fail, rise
and make decisions for their own. And this is also visible in the school, where
adolescents came up with sharing their personal experience with much ease
during our workshops all regards to the space that school has built for them.
The name of the school also has an interesting history, where students
engage in “Sarv dharma prayer” they know holy prayers from each religion with
the meanings which even the brightest student from a high fi private school
wouldn’t be aware of! This is definitely
a ray of hope in current times when there is so much hatred going on in the
name of religion and caste!
Apart from all the beautiful things, we actually got all support and there
was immense sensitivity to our needs for creating safe sharing space for
adolescents to engage in the workshops under various thematic! There was lot of
curiosity and enthusiasm in both Ram Mohan ji and Kanta ji as they wanted to
know what would happen in today’s workshop, or how are the kids responding? Also
on the issue itself which facilitated more conversations rather than
interference.
For us, this collaboration was way different from all our previous
experiences, generally adolescent program needed one and half month since we
could do one workshop in one week, here we did 2 workshops in a day; then also
in the beginning and between breaks, we get to meet lot of experienced and
interesting people who have been in and around this school for long period of
time. This helped us to get the perspective around gender issues across
generations – that these issues existed before, how they engaged with them in
their times and now they find it easy to have more open conversation with
younger lot like us.
What was even more interesting was the work relationship that I shared with
Ram Mohan ji, we both gelled together on writing a lot, so as soon as the
workshops used to get over both of us worked on the write up to be send to
press for publishing in the newspaper. There was huge adrenaline rush,
considering that I engage in writing blogs, taking my own time to let the
stories seep in and then write them other day, here I was writing immediately
post workshop pushing myself from my comfort zone challenged by Ram Mohan ji’s
brilliance. This connect over writing lead many more conversations and common
likings so I remember him saying over Tea, “Both you and my elder
daughter are same. She also never say no to Tea, with only one difference that
she makes it and you don’t”
And honestly I loved this ease, there was no discomfort probably after a
long time I had real conversation with him. On the other hand, Mona and Kanta
ji bonded over their love for cooking- they really experimented and fed us with
different delicacies. There was co-learning happening at so many level which
led us to find a common ground and that actually reflected in our work.
It seemed that our work didn’t end till we sleep as we had numerous late
night conversation from work, to volunteers, to organizational structure, to
love, marriage, history and politics breaking the barriers and stereotypes that
older generations (heart felt apologies to both because both of our lot more
younger and vibrant than Me!!) are
difficult to talk to.
I won’t mind saying it loud and clear that in these 2 years of work, this
collaboration added so much value and knowledge to our work :-) - this is one of the richest experience where we not
only gave a piece of ourselves but received so much from them!
Not to forget the way Nirmala Deshpande Sansthan expresses gratitude to the
people they engage with- there was an inaugural ceremony where we were
felicitated and formally introduced to the adolescent participants along with
the entire school and again the closure was beautiful beyond words :-) We were honored with the books which has translations of
Hali Panipati's poem (one of my cherished collections now)
It was an experience of intergenerational connect, integrity of values, of
co-learning and inspiring each other and of mutual respect! I remember him
saying, “Both of you are damn strong! I don’t know where we would have
reached with this if either of you would have worked with us”
With smile, I nodded! So I would end this by expressing my deep heart felt
gratitude, love and respect to most amazing Ram Mohan ji, Kanta ji, Hali Apna
School and Nirmala Deshpande Sansthan for collaborating with us :-)
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