How role models are changing the lives of girls in rural India

 I strive to become better person everyday because of Sahasi Girls Program’

‘I get courage from Sarla ji. Whenever I am scared of anything in my life, I immediately seek her. She always comforts me and says don’t be scared and keep doing what you do best.’

There are number of challenges that a young girl in a rural setting faces, which hinders their education, growth, dreams and aspirations. It’s not unidirectional issue but with multifaceted problem encompassing deep rooted patriarchal and gendered norms, poverty, lack of access to basic amenities like electricity, educational institutes and so on. Due to this, the girls who are power house of strength, talent and never giving up attitude tends to fade away in the cycle of early marriage, pregnancy and household chores be in parent house or in-laws. Many a times, the girls don’t even know that there is possibility of life beyond what is around them, or the kind of life that women around them lead. That’s where the role models come in.

With Sahasi Girls program, we are consistently trying to build a space where the girls can feel safe, assured and experience joy of living, getting education, being heard, have voice and dreams to look forward to. To explore more, we organized a session on ‘My role model’ with the girls in Khushipura village. We are grateful to Pamoja girls for this incredible session design which we further contextualized to rural settings.

The session began with an online mentorship call with Mohani, who is a student of Hyderabad University. Originally from a small village near Badmer, Rajasthan, she also experienced lot of challenges getting early and school education, but with her consistent hard work, support from her father and teachers, she was able to qualify entrance exam and now she is studying an integrated MA course in history. She shared her journey of education, initial hardships like school being far away, no roads, her classmates being forced to drop out and so on. The challenges were similar to what the girls in Khushipura village are facing – the girls could relate to her in so many ways. She motivated them to continue studying, working on their aspirations and seeking support from Sahas.

One of the girls asked her, ‘Didi, You got support from your father. What should I do? I want to become a doctor but my family doesn’t support me. Can you guide me?’

In her usual simple way Mohani appreciated her for having this wonderful dream. She said that, ‘You need to keep studying hard. Engage with your parents, with your studies prove them that you are capable of studying further. Keep insisting, never give up. And you have Sahas team, they will always support you in your dreams. They can also speak to your parents and help you achieve your dreams.’ This was an importance suggestion for girls because they do have a support system but at the same time, they also have this important responsibility of building dialogue with the parents and ask for what basically is their right.

The sheer joy of listening to a young college student sitting in a distant corner of India, participating for the first time in an online call was evident on the faces of Sahasi Girls. They were in awe of Mohani! This also reminded me of everything practically going online with education, employment and engagement with people, however the girls here and in many parts of the country remained excluded from the digital India. This was our first attempt to connect them digitally to important resources which would support them further in their growth and dreams.

Post the online meet up, Sahasi girls sat in their respective group, each girl was given four questions. Some of the answers for those questions were –

If you have a big decision to make and are bit nervous or unsure of what to do. Who do you ask for valuable input?

‘Teachers’

‘Teachers and parents’

‘I call Purvi Didi whenever I am experiencing dilemmas. She always gives me right suggestions’'

Who makes you brave?

‘Teachers’

‘Sahasi girls program makes me brave’

‘Purvi, Mona and Sarla ji’

Who makes you want to be a better person?

‘Sahasi girls program inspires me to become a better person’

‘I want to become better person because of Mona and Purvi Didi’

Who do you want to be like when you are older?      

‘I want to be a doctor when I grow up ’

‘I want to be just as courageous as Sahasi girls when I grow up’

‘I want to become a teacher just like the teachers in our school because when we go there to study, they always motivate us, tell us to study hard and become something in life.’

‘I want to become a good human being like you’

‘I wish to become an accountant in future. What do I have to do to become one?’

‘I want to become like Mona Didi and Purvi Didi’

Listening to girls, saying that Sahasi Girls program makes them brave and also inspires them to become better person was rewarding beyond words. Working on the issues of gender, and violence is quite challenging and many times a threatening experience especially in the village but all our efforts look worthwhile when the girls feels comforted, motivated, heard and cherished by Sahas Team.

What surprised us was the role plays designed and acted by the 4 groups. Each group was given a real life situation where a girl experiences a challenge and then she goes and seeks support from any person. They had to show who this person is, what advice/suggestion will they give and whether they will be able to resolve the challenge.

The first group was given a situation where the girls are to participate in a event organized for them in the village. The venue has changed, so when the girl is going for the event – the women are taunting them, even a shopkeeper says bad things. What would the girl do? They depicted the situation exactly like how it has played out in the Khusipura village most of the times. The actor playing the role of Sahasi Girl went to Virendra Singh (team member and mentor) and shared the challenge. The girl playing the role of Virendra Singh said, ‘What the women and village people said to you is not okay. They shouldn’t be saying such things to you or any other girls. But you make choice for yourself. If you think going to these sessions will be helpful, and if you are learning things that can be helpful then ignore the villagers. They will comment on anything that is uncanny or something they don’t understand. It’s their problem. You focus on yourself and leave that space immediately.’

In the second situation, a girl wants to go to college after completing her 12^th boards but her parents are refusing to enroll her. Here the group presented the fellow Sahasi girl as the role model. She said, ‘Arrey you are a Sahasi Girl. How did you forget that? Don’t worry, talk to your parents once again. I will help you in your studies. Remember what didi said, we shouldn’t give up on ourselves and education – we need to try our best so that we can study. I am a Sahasi Girl too – I will help you in every possible way. Don’t fret.’

In the third situation, one of the girl wants to attend the program organized for girls but her mother refuses to let her go. The girl who went to mobilize goes and asks for support to the role model. The girl played the role of Mona Yadav as role model said, ‘Did you ask why her mother is refusing to let her go? I know there is lot of people who doesn’t want their girls to go out of home and come for workshops. People spread rumors like we are teaching something wrong but we are talking about rights of girls, education for them. They are scared that if girls learn all of this they will work on their life! Don’t worry we will go together and speak to her mother. I really appreciate you for mobilizing the girls.’

In the last role play, there is a girl who wants to study but her parents stopped her from going to the school. Her friend, fellow Sahasi girl seeks Sarla ji support. Sarla ji goes to her home and engages with mother, ‘Let her come to the program and learn things. She should be going to the school.’ The mother says that they don’t have money and who will do household chores if she leaves home. The actor playing Sarla ji counters by saying that they don’t have to worry about money, it is important for girls to go to the school so that they lead good life and become something in their lives. After a lot of back and forth, mother agrees by saying that if the girl finishes the household chores then she can go to the program as well as school. To my surprise the girl playing the role model insisted that since she will be going to school she will need time to study as well so she can do half of work and half to be done by other members in the family. The mother finally agrees to Sarla ji and sends her daughter to the school.

There were many beautiful and encouraging aspects of this entire activity. The girls who hardly used to speak when we started engaging with them are now brimming with openness and confidence. They are sharing their challenges and seeking support. They are blooming with creativity! Secondly these role plays are direct feedback and one of the most terrific evaluation we as team have ever received. The girls instead of traditionally saying automated answers as parents and teachers are able to identify their role models, their words of affirmation and guidance and they are speaking for their rights!

The entire team of Sahas was overjoyed to witness the role plays and receive this feedback with open heart. The girls were then invited to write letters to their role models and if they wish they can share it with them directly. Mona Yadav received two letters, Purvi Yadav received three letters and our Sahasi leader received a letter from her group mate.

We then had a samosa party with girls talking to each other, laughing and having a good time.

The workshop ‘My role model’ was organized in the context of Teacher’s Day celebration which continued with Sahasi Girls celebrating the day with their teacher in After school Program.

कब खत्म होगी महिलाओं और लड़कियों के खिलाफ यौनिक हिंसा

मुझे समझ नहीं आता है कि हम कैसे समाज का हिस्सा हैं। क्या ये आजाद भारत वो हैं जिसका सपना आज से सालों पहले गुलाम भारत के लोगों ने देखा था? क्या उन्होंने ये सोचा होगा कि आजादी के इतने साल बाद भी लड़कियां और महिलाएं खुद की कॉलेज में, कार्यस्थल पर, सार्वजनिक जगहों पर या फिर घरों में हिंसा का यूं शिकार होंगी? मेरे कान थक चुके हैं ये सुनते सुनते कि अब तो लड़कियां लड़कों के साथ कंधे से कंधा मिलाकर चलती हैं, हमारे राजनीतिक पटल पर इतनी महिलाएं कार्यरत हैं, अब तो जेंडर गैरबराबरी है ही नहीं, आजकल तो लड़के खतरे में आ गए हैं, आपने वो किस्सा सुना जहां भरी रोड़ पर एक लड़की ने ऑटो वाले को तमाचा जड़ दिया, ये नारीवाद ने तो घरों का नाश कर दिया।

तो मैं उन सभी समाज के ठेकेदारों, ये बातें करने वाले बुद्धिजीवियों, मीडिया वाले साथियों से पूछना चाहूंगी कि एक पढ़ी लिखी लड़की जिसने न जाने कितनी मेहनत और चुनौतियों के बाद एक मेडिकल कॉलेज में दाखिला लिया, पूरी पढ़ाई की और वो रात में पढ़ रही थी तो फिर किसी आदमी की कैसे हिम्मत हुई कि वो वहां घुस आया, उसके साथ बलात्कार कर मौत के घाट उतार दिया। जब किसी मेडिकल कॉलेज में एक भावी डॉक्टर सुरक्षित नहीं तो लड़कियां और महिलाएं कहां सुरक्षित हैं – ये महज कोलकाता का मामला नहीं है भारत के हर कोने में हर रोज हर घंटे ऐसी घटना होती है जिससे लड़कियों की आजादी छीन रही है। कहां है वो लोग जो कहते हैं कि लड़कियां तो आज बहुत आजाद हो गई हैं – क्या आपने रोड पर चलती लड़की को देखा है तो सिमट कर, कभी दुपट्टा ठीक करती, तो कभी साड़ी का पल्लू संभालती तो कभी अपनी शर्ट को देखती है कि कभी कुछ दिखाई तो नहीं दे रहा है कि सामने वाला उसे ऐसे घू रहा है।

बलात्कार महज एक अपराध नहीं है बल्कि लड़कियों और महिलाओं की आजादी छीनने का, अपनी मर्दानगी जताने का और सबसे बड़ी बात एक ढांचागत फेलियर है प्रशासनिक तंत्रों की जो अलग अलग योजनाओं का दावा देते हुए कभी वोट बैंक भरते हैं तो कभी अपने जैब। आजादी के समय अलग अलग जगह कार्यक्रम करने, या फिर नारों से नहीं आएगी – बहुत जरूरी है कि लोग अपने गिरेबान में झांके और सोचे कि कितने बार उनकी नजरों ने घूरा है, कितने बार उन्होंने महिला या लड़की पर हो रहे भेदभाव या हिंसा से मुंह फेरा है, कितने बार सिर्फ हिंसा को महिलाओं का मुद्दा मानकर छोड़ दिया है, कितने बार घर में, अपने कार्यस्थल पर भेदभाव किया या देकर नजरअंदाज किया है, कितने बार किसी के कपड़ों, आवाज या बर्ताव पर कमेंट किया है या सुना है – हो सकता है ये बातें आपको छोटी या बेमानी लग रही हैं – पर अगर आप इनमें से किसी भी चीज के भागीदार रहे हैं तो आप भी कोलकाता में हुए मेडिकल छात्रा के बलात्कार में हिस्सेदार हैं।

आजादी के मायने महज विकास से, शिक्षा से. कानून में बदलाव लाने, प्रशासनिक कार्रवाई से नहीं बल्कि अपनी रूढ़िवादी और पितृसत्तामक मानसिकता (फिर आपका कोई भी जेंडर, जाति या क्लास हो) को समझने और चुनौती देने से आएगी।

 

Searching for meaning of ‘Azadi’ as India completes 78 years of Independence

 Every year in the month of August, Sahas Foundation launches a campaign exploring the gender stereotypes and discrimination faced by young women and girls in India. This month signifies a crucial historical moment –India after years of struggles and sacrifices became Independent country, freeing itself from the clutches of colonial rule of British Empire. While our country will be completing 78 years of Independence, there is always this thought lingering and nagging in my mind as to what does this independence means to me and for my fellow Indians especially the girls and women I work with in the rural areas?

With this thought, we at Sahas launched ‘Azadi campaign’ exploring the meaning of freedom for ourselves, remembering our roots and ideologies that facilitated the freedom struggle, learning about the social reformers and revolutionaries like Rabindranath Tagore, Baba Saheb Ambedkar, Jyotiba Phule and Savitribai Phule and then creating a safe space in the community for the girls to examine what ‘Azadi’ means to them.

After initiating the online campaign, we facilitated a workshop on ‘Azadi’ with Sahasi girls. The session started with brief introduction, agreements and poem ‘Where Mind is without fear’ by Rabindranath Tagore. This was followed by mind map on ‘Azadi’; few responses were –

‘To live freely’

‘I am able to go wherever I want to’

‘To be able to do things without any fear’

‘To be able to do things on my own, without listening to others or their instructions’

This was followed by storytelling session where the girls read out the stories of Baba Saheb Ambedkar, Savitribai Phule and Jyotiba Phule aloud. Few of things shared by girls –

‘We mustn’t discriminate people based on their caste or gender’

‘The social work is a challenging job, people will always oppose it’

‘Education is very important’

We as Sahas team could relate and resonate to each and every word from the story of Savitribai Phule, as even after so many years working on girls education and their rights is so challenging. We have been subjected to verbal abuse, gossips behind our backs, drunk men and boys have created unnecessary conflicts and despite our efforts the mothers still don’t allow girls to come to programs. It was equally amazing to see that even the girls affirmed that our journey is quite similar to the pioneer of feminism in India. We are honored to walk on the path laid by social reformers and feminist like Savitribai Phule.

The girls enjoyed and loved the poetry by Kamla Bhasin and this acted as an inspiration for them to write Azadi slogans –

‘Khulkar jeena, hawao mein udhna hai, yehi hamara nara hai’

‘Ladhkiya bhi ladhko ke sath kadam milakar chal sakti hai’

‘Hum ladhkiyo ka yeh hai kehna, anpadh banker kabhi na rehna’

‘Apni marzi se jeena aur kaam karna hai hamara adhikar’

‘Padhi likhi ladhki, roshni ghar ki’

‘Hamein kisi se darr kar nahi hai jeena, yehi hai nara hamara’

All of us had chocolates to celebrate Independence Day. We also organized race competition for children and young girls where they enjoyed a lot.

For us, Azadi also means inclusion, so we went to the house of young girl with disability, had brief conversation and provided her with a story book by Premchand. Then we went to the house of young boy with cerebral palsy who has been part of our program since last December. It was beautiful experience to see him all dressed up, clean shaven and arriving on wheel chair. We have been working so hard to arrange this for him so that he can access things and places without depending on others. Two of the Sahasi Girls read story of Baba Saheb Ambedkar. Slowly different members of his family joined in to listen to the story and engage in the conversation. His mother said that this is also given by god, we have to just go with it. Our facilitator interjected here because this line of thought can be dangerous, once we believe that this is all by god we look away from the discrimination and violence that people do based on different identities. Having a disability, or belonging to a particular caste, class or gender must not be license or used as tool by others to justify their acts of violence. This was strongly emphasized by one of our team members. Later, we celebrated Independence day by pining the flag and distributing chocolates.

At the same time, a woman with two girls arrived asking us to help her with their school fees. It is unfortunate that we were about to get her elder daughter admitted in nearby school but before that the family got her married. She was merely 14 years old. I asked the mother at what age she was married, she smiled and said she was about the same age as her daughter. I was angry, how could she do the same when she has lived a harrowing life herself. Unfortunately she showed no remorse, instead she laughed. One of our facilitator got frustrated and asked her as to what made her laugh? Like subjecting your daughter to the same miserable life as she has lived – does that seem like a joke? Why are daughters treated like garbage, if they are so disposable then you have no right to give them birth! These instances though make us feel bad but motivate us to keep working to protect and support the girls from early marriage.

With this Azadi campaign, our team stands strongly on the values of Baba Saheb Ambedkar, Savitribai Phule, Jyotiba Phule and the constitution of India. We are committed to building safer, inclusive society where people are not judged, discriminated or violated just because of who they are.

From Sahasi Girls to Sahasi leaders

 After successful culmination of community building workshop, the next step in the Sahasi Girls program involved inspiring the girls to take up leadership roles. With this objective, we organized a workshop with the girls to map their intention, sharing our objectives and building a discourse on accountability and setting boundaries as the first step towards leadership in their community.

In the first activity, we encouraged the girls to share on ‘why do they come for the workshops or sessions organized by Sahas?’ Some of the answers were –

‘This is the first time in the village when someone is organizing programs for girls. Our families, villagers don’t really care about us. It is you who organizes these meetings so that the girls can move ahead and do something in their lives’

‘You gave us strength to voice our thoughts, feelings and challenges’

‘I come to these meetings because I know you will tell us something important’

‘You inspire us and give us courage to keep moving’

‘I learnt openness to learn new things and participate’

‘These programs talk about importance of girl’s education’

‘Girls are no less than boys’

‘You gave us courage to continue our education’

It was beautiful and inspiring to hear that our intention of working with the girls in the village has reached them and they are learning, listening and implementing them in their lives.

In the next activity, through chart paper, the facilitator shared the objective behind running Sahasi Girls program and various activities and sub programs running as part of it. While doing so, both the team members and girls realized that these programs have supported many girls be it education initiatives, sports or creative endeavors.

The third part was tricky and challenging yet crucial because this conversation will lay the foundation of Sahasi Leaders and associated programs in following months. In the span of 4 years, Sahas team has encountered multitudes of challenges, harassed by the family members of girls, drunk villagers, rowdy men trying to stop football games and even authority people in the village. Despite that, team members never stopped supporting the girls, however many times girls under the influence of family members have tried to take advantage of team members, called them unnecessarily, demanded things like bicycle etc because other girl in need has received it. So, to counter all of this, and establish accountability and boundaries on both ends, cofounder at Sahas clearly stated the issues, what kind of things are expected from the girls and what support can be provided by Sahas.

This dialogue was well received by the girls and they affirmed their participation keeping in mind the value of mutual respect and boundaries. The girls were divided into 5 groups each group had 2 appointed leaders. They will be meeting every week and engage in activities to build community, understand and support each other better. In the last part of the session, we did an interest mapping for various activities like learning computer, English, theatre, art and music. The joy of getting opportunity to learn various skills was unmatchable.    

Building community for the girls by the girls

Sahasi Girls program has been running successfully in Khushipura village for more than a year now; the girls have increased access to education, knowledge regarding their rights and SRHR and they are now advocating for their rights as well. However the feeling of community and a connection among themselves seems to be lacking; to cater to this challenge, we at Sahas Foundation decided to organize a community building session for Sahasi Girls. The primary objective of this workshop was to inspire girls to engage in self-evaluation, learn that it’s not necessary to identify themselves with achievements and learn to appreciate each other as well. This can be a start to bring in the value of community.

The workshop began with brief introduction, agreements and a gender riddle. It was amazing to witness a young girl crack the gender riddle as soon as the facilitator finished saying it. In our experience of engaging with the students studying in one of the best universities, women and activists with lot of knowledge fail to answer this riddle however this young girl who has been part of our programs since last year could overcome gender related stereotypes and answer it correctly.

In the first activity, the girls were invited to engage on three simple questions. For the statement – 3 good things they have done in the day, or past week or month, the responses were –

‘I went to the school, started studying for class 11^th and you came today to be with us was the best thing’

‘I helped a girl in my school. She had come for the first time and seemed scared, so when she asked me what is being taught here, I told her to come sit with me, and then helped her’

‘While I was on my way to the school, I saw a boy who was injured. I helped him get up and dropped him till his house.’

‘I passed in 10^th class, you did the workshop where we learnt a lot of things.’

‘I enjoyed teaching students in the school, I like sitting with you and engaging in the conversations.’

‘One of the girls in my school didn’t bring her lunch, so I shared my food with her. That is one good thing I did.’

‘We play game of antakshari every Saturday in our school, I won with the maximum points.’

‘I worked hard to study in the class, I completed all my class work in due time and I was not disrespectful to anyone’

‘My mother was not feeling well one day, she asked me not to go to school. I refused and said that I will go to school. When I came back home, I also helped in completing household chores.’    

In the next part, they were asked to write on 3 things they are grateful for –

‘My parents and I get this opportunity to come and participate in the workshops.’

‘My family and I am not getting married. Thank god!’

‘The good thing about my life is I am able to get education’

‘I am grateful that I have finally gotten 11^th class books’

‘I am grateful that you come and organize the workshops for us – otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten this opportunity to go to school’

It was challenging for the girls to write the answers for the first two questions primarily because these things are never part of conversation either in schools or homes especially in rural areas. Secondly, the girls are constantly reminded of what wrong they have done, or how they can work better rather than appreciating them. This makes it even harder for them to find good in them. Again, in life we are so used to and are surrounded by challenges, problems and issues that we take many good things in our life for granted and forget the things we are and can be grateful for.

Interestingly for the third statement, their answers gave us hope because the girls despite experiencing challenges now have dreams, they are thinking about future and have aspirations.

‘I want to continue my education.’

‘I want to become a school teacher’

‘I want to complete my education, become doctor and then express gratitude to my family and didis’

‘I want to learn computer, and become Police’

‘I want to do a job after completing my education’

‘I want to complete my education with good marks. I want to ride a bike’

‘I want to study so much that no one ever expected me to’

‘I want to be successful’

‘I want to become a singer’

‘I want to study, learn stitching and earn money’

This activity looked beautiful with the colorful post-ids adorning the chart paper depicting different aspects of girls’ life in the village. The next activity involved defining themselves in one word.  Immediately one of the girls said that I am daughter which led to dialogue on gender and relational identity of girls and women. One of the girls said that ‘I feel that someone understands me, because of these workshops. No one in the family has ever understood me or tried to do.’ On the other hand, one girl said that I don’t even know myself. All of these feelings and thoughts were relevant and important because this session can be the starting point of knowing oneself.

Since the first part of the workshop was focused on self perception, we slowly moved towards community aspect – where the girls formed concentric circles and one by one took some time to share one positive quality of each other. There were lot of giggling and laughing!

The session closed with strongly voicing some of the affirmations like ‘I will not compare myself with others’, ‘I am not defined by people’s opinions’ and so on. The loud voices of girls were a delight to listen to and these self affirmations will be the guiding force for them in the  upcoming times.  

'Mental Health awareness' session with Youth of Ladakh

 

‘I don’t know how to say No to people. There are situations when I am unable to do things or sometimes I don’t want to do it but I fail to say No!’

With our work on adolescents and young people of India, Sahas is constantly stepping up in the programs that address the issues that are most important to them and together we find out a way to share, listen and find solutions to resolve them.  Our interns have joined hands to accelerate and enhance our reach to the young people living in the remote corners of India so that they become part of this important discourse on gender, mental health and challenging gender based violence. Our long term Intern Shujat Ali from Kargil, Ladakh facilitated this year’s first collaboration with IAOL – an educational group that helps and guide Ladakhi students preparing for various competitive exams like JEE, NEET, etc and provides a platform for them to meet with their peers who have already cracked these exams.

In short span of time, Mona Yadav, PhD and a Psychologist prepared a session on ‘fostering positive mental health’ with an objective to provide them much needed support and tools to cater to the stress and anxiety that comes with appearing in these extremely competitive entrance exams. It was for the first time, we hosted a session in the night so that more students can join in. The session began at 9 pm with a warm welcome, brief introduction and ground rules so that everyone gets space to listen, share and learn. The participants were invited to close their eyes and engage in the mindful meditation followed by a journaling practice where in they had to write about the moment in their life or any day this year where they felt upset, sad, angry or didn’t know what to do.

Some of the coping mechanisms shared by the participants while dealing with difficult moments included sleeping, praying, baking, trying to solve the problem, sitting alone, co-curricular activities like hiking and trekking, singing, dancing, staying calm, talking to a friend or family member, eating favorite food,  crying, writing, talking to the mentor.  The facilitator then engaged on which of these are helpful and which are not. In the next part of the session, the facilitator shared some of the tools that one can use while going through hard times, these practices need to be done regularly. Some of them are meditation, journaling, positive self talk, social media detox etc. All these practices were contextualized like positive self talk-people are already judging and pressuring you for good marks, if we also talk negatively about ourselves then we will go downhill so it’s important to remind oneself about their own positive values and qualities. Similarly, the whole stress and anxiety is related to the results; while one decides, prepares or even while giving exams we are thinking about results and we forget to live in the present. If you live in present, prepare well, not compare with other and focus on the process rather than the outcome life becomes easier and stress is reduced automatically.

At the end of the session, we also talked about mental check in and when to consult psychologist or psychiatrist thereby engaging on debunking taboos around mental health and mental illness. We also engaged on why people struggle with saying NO and finding good in themselves. It was an enriching experience for us as this was our first experience working with youth of Ladakh. Some of the feedback shared by the participants –

‘It was my first time attending mental awareness workshop. And as a student we have lots of mental stress due to our academic studies. So after attending this session, I understood how I can deal with them through different activities. I am very thankful to you guys.’

‘We can use breathing exercises to reduce our stress and worries, breath in and out. It helped me a lot. I will be doing this exercise regularly now.’

‘Overall was great, I learned some unknown facts about Mental Health Awareness, and the parameters of mental health status.’

                                         

Building youth leadership to challenge gender inequality in India

 

‘The workshop on understanding gender was fun as well as informative. Through various activities I could see how much gender affects society, and I was reminded of many stereotypes that women and girls face on daily bases. It also emphasized the belief that as the part of society we can bring the changes.’

This year we opened our doors for young people to join us formally in the capacity of intern and volunteers for various positions as part of our mission to bring gender equity in the society. We strongly believe that young people no matter which field they are pursuing for education can be flag bearer of much needed social change in the society. We received an overwhelming 100+ applications from the students who are studying Law, social sciences, Engineering, development studies and so on. One of the intentions was to build their capacity in gender issues thereby providing them with a perspective which they can employ while pursuing their desired career and contribute in building more gender just society.

After rigorous process, seven students from seven different cities Barmer (Rajasthan), Kargil (Ladakh), Patna (Bihar), Hyderabad (Telangana), Kolkata (W. Bengal), Jammu and Pune (Maharashtra) were chosen for internship with Sahas. We organized a workshop on building ‘understanding on gender’ with them before they start working so that they understand our work and vision better.

The online workshop started with a welcome note, brief introduction and agreements to conduct the session where everyone feels included and safe enough to share their stories and experiences. In the beginning we invited them to solve a very simple riddle. It was interesting to see that such excellent students struggling with a question that doesn’t require any skill – it simply indicates how deeply embedded gender norms are that even the most educated people can’t think that  surgeon could be a woman!

When we shared the answer, the surprise on their face revealed that they are now ready to understand how deeply gender impacts society and them.

In the next part, the participants were asked to write ‘3 key messages that they received on being a boy or a girl’. Some of the responses were as follows –

‘Don’t keep your hairs short, girls must have long hairs. Why are you shouting – speak softly. Come home before sun goes down.’

‘You have to work hard, otherwise you won’t get job. I can go out at any time, I don’t have to seek permission. You are a boy, you will definitely be sent to good school.’  

‘I was upset one day and started cry. I was told not to cry because apparently boys must not cry and they compared me with girls. Whenever I engage in household chores, automatically there is a mindset that only girls should do this work, boys mustn’t do that. Even in our university, in the class, boys and girls sit separately. If by any chance a boy sits with a girl, people start spreading rumors, make lewd jokes even friends tease them. This is just the mindset that I see everywhere’

‘Be home by 7 pm, don’t be late. Girls must know how to cook and do household chores. Even though my father is a lawyer, he still told me that law is male dominated field and you must be extra careful and hard working if you want to do something in life’

‘You are too sensitive to make rational decision. Have some control over your emotions. Girls are not good at sports, technical aspects and that is one of the reasons why women are not given leadership roles.’

We then co-created gender story by simple question and answer, and based on that story – what, how and why of gender was established. To deepen the understanding of gender, we engaged in discourse around three statements – First, In most of the households, women cook food while in restaurants across globe, chefs are men.  Some of the arguments were men are considered to work efficiently in high pressure job and dealing with large number of people that’s why they are chef. One of them said that in old times, it was frowned upon for women to work outside home and in such places men assumed that women are available (assumed to be disgraceful) that’s why women didn’t work as chef. But now scenario has changed. Another participant said that working at home, cooking three times for entire family doesn’t give you money that’s why women cook at home while working at restaurants are financially rewarding so most of chef are men.

Second statement - Men should be strong enough to protect their mother and sister; This statement had arguments from both ends; while one of the girls said that it is assumed and constantly emphasized both by family and society that girls are weak and they need protection that’s why men are given that role. While one of the young man said that this assumption is a huge burden and leads to self esteem, confidence and body image issues for boy. They have this constant pressure to look and appear strong which is impossible to carry on.

The third statement stumped everyone - Why do woman go to their husband’s house after marriage and not vice-a versa. Not a single person had any answer for it. One of them said that they need some time to process this statement. Someone said that it is surprising that women are raising the next generation and are still considered weak!

At the end of the workshop, one of the participants asked a question ‘Why is sex work so frowned upon? Women are disrespected and looked down upon but nothing is said about the men who go for sex workers’. This led to an interesting discourse on the intersection of gender and women sexuality.

The participants had lot of things to say about their experience of first time attending a session on gender –

‘It was a good experience participating in the gender session. I learnt lot of things like the society discriminates both men and women; it creates a particular image of what men should do and what women should do – which is not right. Women face a lot of gender inequality and discrimination even in their families and they have to be strong and face those issues as they can’t avoid them. I also learnt ways and what we can do to challenge this age old mindset. I liked the activity of story building in which we had to give answers and I think it was the activity in which everyone participated.’

‘Participating in gender workshop was something new for me. It was informative and fun. It allowed me to share my points and gave me the chance to hear the others. The very first riddle taught me that there's no specific gender for any profession (a mother can also be the surgeon). Secondly gender inequality affects the boys as much as it affects girls. I really liked the activity where we had to share 3 things that we have heard the most being a girl.’

‘My experience attending this workshop was amazing.  I learnt many things like why gender discrimination is prevalent in the society and the reasons behind it. There was one activity I liked most in this workshop where names of some profession and work were given and among them we had to share which are mostly done by women or mostly done by men. This showed us how deep gender discrimination is in our society and we need to end it soon. The distribution of work in the society should be on the basis of skills and not on the basis of gender. Because everyone can work equally, it has nothing to do with gender of the person.’

‘It was incredible experience as it helped me understand different people’s perspective on social issues like gender and gender based violence. I also learnt that it is important for us to challenge societal norms and attitudes only then gender-based violence can be stopped and key to healthy relationships is based on mutual respect and equality.’

‘It was a good experience to engage on prevailing issue of gender in our society. Talking and discussing of the issue is the first step to understand it, hearing other’s perspective and sharing one’s own experience strengthens this understanding. We could relate to each other and figure out how to challenge this and eradicate gender based violence.’