How role models are changing the lives of girls in rural India

 I strive to become better person everyday because of Sahasi Girls Program’

‘I get courage from Sarla ji. Whenever I am scared of anything in my life, I immediately seek her. She always comforts me and says don’t be scared and keep doing what you do best.’

There are number of challenges that a young girl in a rural setting faces, which hinders their education, growth, dreams and aspirations. It’s not unidirectional issue but with multifaceted problem encompassing deep rooted patriarchal and gendered norms, poverty, lack of access to basic amenities like electricity, educational institutes and so on. Due to this, the girls who are power house of strength, talent and never giving up attitude tends to fade away in the cycle of early marriage, pregnancy and household chores be in parent house or in-laws. Many a times, the girls don’t even know that there is possibility of life beyond what is around them, or the kind of life that women around them lead. That’s where the role models come in.

With Sahasi Girls program, we are consistently trying to build a space where the girls can feel safe, assured and experience joy of living, getting education, being heard, have voice and dreams to look forward to. To explore more, we organized a session on ‘My role model’ with the girls in Khushipura village. We are grateful to Pamoja girls for this incredible session design which we further contextualized to rural settings.

The session began with an online mentorship call with Mohani, who is a student of Hyderabad University. Originally from a small village near Badmer, Rajasthan, she also experienced lot of challenges getting early and school education, but with her consistent hard work, support from her father and teachers, she was able to qualify entrance exam and now she is studying an integrated MA course in history. She shared her journey of education, initial hardships like school being far away, no roads, her classmates being forced to drop out and so on. The challenges were similar to what the girls in Khushipura village are facing – the girls could relate to her in so many ways. She motivated them to continue studying, working on their aspirations and seeking support from Sahas.

One of the girls asked her, ‘Didi, You got support from your father. What should I do? I want to become a doctor but my family doesn’t support me. Can you guide me?’

In her usual simple way Mohani appreciated her for having this wonderful dream. She said that, ‘You need to keep studying hard. Engage with your parents, with your studies prove them that you are capable of studying further. Keep insisting, never give up. And you have Sahas team, they will always support you in your dreams. They can also speak to your parents and help you achieve your dreams.’ This was an importance suggestion for girls because they do have a support system but at the same time, they also have this important responsibility of building dialogue with the parents and ask for what basically is their right.

The sheer joy of listening to a young college student sitting in a distant corner of India, participating for the first time in an online call was evident on the faces of Sahasi Girls. They were in awe of Mohani! This also reminded me of everything practically going online with education, employment and engagement with people, however the girls here and in many parts of the country remained excluded from the digital India. This was our first attempt to connect them digitally to important resources which would support them further in their growth and dreams.

Post the online meet up, Sahasi girls sat in their respective group, each girl was given four questions. Some of the answers for those questions were –

If you have a big decision to make and are bit nervous or unsure of what to do. Who do you ask for valuable input?

‘Teachers’

‘Teachers and parents’

‘I call Purvi Didi whenever I am experiencing dilemmas. She always gives me right suggestions’'

Who makes you brave?

‘Teachers’

‘Sahasi girls program makes me brave’

‘Purvi, Mona and Sarla ji’

Who makes you want to be a better person?

‘Sahasi girls program inspires me to become a better person’

‘I want to become better person because of Mona and Purvi Didi’

Who do you want to be like when you are older?      

‘I want to be a doctor when I grow up ’

‘I want to be just as courageous as Sahasi girls when I grow up’

‘I want to become a teacher just like the teachers in our school because when we go there to study, they always motivate us, tell us to study hard and become something in life.’

‘I want to become a good human being like you’

‘I wish to become an accountant in future. What do I have to do to become one?’

‘I want to become like Mona Didi and Purvi Didi’

Listening to girls, saying that Sahasi Girls program makes them brave and also inspires them to become better person was rewarding beyond words. Working on the issues of gender, and violence is quite challenging and many times a threatening experience especially in the village but all our efforts look worthwhile when the girls feels comforted, motivated, heard and cherished by Sahas Team.

What surprised us was the role plays designed and acted by the 4 groups. Each group was given a real life situation where a girl experiences a challenge and then she goes and seeks support from any person. They had to show who this person is, what advice/suggestion will they give and whether they will be able to resolve the challenge.

The first group was given a situation where the girls are to participate in a event organized for them in the village. The venue has changed, so when the girl is going for the event – the women are taunting them, even a shopkeeper says bad things. What would the girl do? They depicted the situation exactly like how it has played out in the Khusipura village most of the times. The actor playing the role of Sahasi Girl went to Virendra Singh (team member and mentor) and shared the challenge. The girl playing the role of Virendra Singh said, ‘What the women and village people said to you is not okay. They shouldn’t be saying such things to you or any other girls. But you make choice for yourself. If you think going to these sessions will be helpful, and if you are learning things that can be helpful then ignore the villagers. They will comment on anything that is uncanny or something they don’t understand. It’s their problem. You focus on yourself and leave that space immediately.’

In the second situation, a girl wants to go to college after completing her 12^th boards but her parents are refusing to enroll her. Here the group presented the fellow Sahasi girl as the role model. She said, ‘Arrey you are a Sahasi Girl. How did you forget that? Don’t worry, talk to your parents once again. I will help you in your studies. Remember what didi said, we shouldn’t give up on ourselves and education – we need to try our best so that we can study. I am a Sahasi Girl too – I will help you in every possible way. Don’t fret.’

In the third situation, one of the girl wants to attend the program organized for girls but her mother refuses to let her go. The girl who went to mobilize goes and asks for support to the role model. The girl played the role of Mona Yadav as role model said, ‘Did you ask why her mother is refusing to let her go? I know there is lot of people who doesn’t want their girls to go out of home and come for workshops. People spread rumors like we are teaching something wrong but we are talking about rights of girls, education for them. They are scared that if girls learn all of this they will work on their life! Don’t worry we will go together and speak to her mother. I really appreciate you for mobilizing the girls.’

In the last role play, there is a girl who wants to study but her parents stopped her from going to the school. Her friend, fellow Sahasi girl seeks Sarla ji support. Sarla ji goes to her home and engages with mother, ‘Let her come to the program and learn things. She should be going to the school.’ The mother says that they don’t have money and who will do household chores if she leaves home. The actor playing Sarla ji counters by saying that they don’t have to worry about money, it is important for girls to go to the school so that they lead good life and become something in their lives. After a lot of back and forth, mother agrees by saying that if the girl finishes the household chores then she can go to the program as well as school. To my surprise the girl playing the role model insisted that since she will be going to school she will need time to study as well so she can do half of work and half to be done by other members in the family. The mother finally agrees to Sarla ji and sends her daughter to the school.

There were many beautiful and encouraging aspects of this entire activity. The girls who hardly used to speak when we started engaging with them are now brimming with openness and confidence. They are sharing their challenges and seeking support. They are blooming with creativity! Secondly these role plays are direct feedback and one of the most terrific evaluation we as team have ever received. The girls instead of traditionally saying automated answers as parents and teachers are able to identify their role models, their words of affirmation and guidance and they are speaking for their rights!

The entire team of Sahas was overjoyed to witness the role plays and receive this feedback with open heart. The girls were then invited to write letters to their role models and if they wish they can share it with them directly. Mona Yadav received two letters, Purvi Yadav received three letters and our Sahasi leader received a letter from her group mate.

We then had a samosa party with girls talking to each other, laughing and having a good time.

The workshop ‘My role model’ was organized in the context of Teacher’s Day celebration which continued with Sahasi Girls celebrating the day with their teacher in After school Program.