Building understanding on reproductive health and rights with rural women

“I didn’t know until 2^nd month, that I was pregnant, it was when I started feeling unwell most of the times that I visited doctor and found out about having a child”

In my experience of rural context and the available statistics, the state of reproductive health and services are in dismay; women don’t know about their body, neither about conceiving or what to do during their pregnancy and post natal care. The situation is so bad that there is no government or private hospital in the radius of 15 kms and many a time as far as 25 kms. It is imperative that women know how important their bodies are, understanding as well as taking care of it so. Hence the third workshop on reproductive health: sex, pregnancy and contraception was designed considering all the factors, context, and possible queries and was heavily information based.

The workshop began with a question – “When did you come to know you are pregnant? And how did that make you feel?” The first response startled me not because it was uncommon but the implication of it that how even our feelings are predefined, and there is no scope to feel otherwise especially if you are a women!

“When I first came to know about my pregnancy….I felt…umm….we are supposed to feel happy…isn’t it?”

“I had no idea what pregnancy is, or what am I supposed to do! I was scared”

“I wasn’t feeling well, most of the times I was sick and that indicated that I was pregnant.”

This conversation led to talking about sex, their first experience of hearing, knowing and understanding of word sex. It was so sad and undeniably jolt to the existing educational structure because these women who are either in their late 20s or early 30s came to know about sex from their friends or in the chapters not taught by teachers; also they never had detailed conversation on what it actually means and unfortunately the condition remains the same with no talk on sex with present lot as well! The feelings around that too remains same- feeling of disgust, dirty, shame, awkward and sex as something that shouldn’t be talked about.

One of the participants shared, “I heard it from my friends” Then she started laughing awkwardly. “They talked about weird things I felt bad and dirty. I wished they stop talking about it. I didn’t know what will happen to me” and the shy, awkward and giggles began; the same we hear while we engage with adolescent girls on sex.

This was the perfect opportunity to build understanding on what sex is, and how sex is beyond intercourse, how women get pregnant, how that pregnancy could be planned and you could be more prepared for it. While explaining menstrual cycle and the time period where a women have more chances of conceiving, I could feel them getting relaxed, inquisitive and interested. This session turned out be very interactive because with every information, there was series of questions and experiences.

Then we moved to next part of reproductive health where we talked about various contraception method which included explaining the method, merits and demerits!

“Of that’s why I have irregular period, no wonder I am gaining weight and becoming lethargic. My doctor never told me while inserting Copper-T”

“We couldn’t use condoms because that causes rashes and irritation so I had to go for contraception”

While choosing contraception method, your comfort, body and clarity of merits and demerits should be understood and consulted with gynecologist. This led to very crucial and meaningful discussion as to how responsibility of contraception is not just for the women! Both of them are equally responsible, and the decision making for having a child or not having a child or having a gap should be mutual. We also engaged on various stereotypes associated with women body and reproductive health – for example how the responsibility of whether the child would be borne as boy or girl is totally placed on women while it is the men’s chromosomes that makes the decision. Secondly even men could be infertile. There are methods that men could use for contraception other than condoms and so on.

‘I knew something about contraception but never knew there are so many of them. No one talks about it, this is so important to our body because having a child causes so many changes in our body which are not always happy changes’

‘I never knew we could talk about sex, children, periods so openly- it is unbelievable. I feel so happy to know these things. How I wish these things were told to us before. But I am so thankful that we can say anything, ask anything and don’t have to feel ashamed"