Building conversations on 'Menstruation, hygiene and taboos' with rural women in India

“This is a problem that every women has”

The moment you say this word ‘Period’ instantly any women or girl will define it as a problem! Unfortunately that’s not just because of the fact that blood comes out of our vaginas during certain days of month or the mood swings or may be the stomachache but it’s more because of how are first experience of getting periods is and following years of shame and stigma that surrounds menstruation as if this is some sort of punishment that comes by being borne as girls! There is pain, trauma, shame and guilt that reeks the conversations on periods so much that saying that I am having periods is also not allowed.

I remember being a child visiting my home village, a remote one many kilometers away from Aligarh, Uttar Pradesh – a village which had no lights, no pakka roads however the plight of women was worse; girls younger to me getting married, women close to my house were giving birth to a new borne every year, no access to hospital, some random person enacting as doctor using age old needles and god forbid if they could eat in peace for one time at least! I was baffled and always wanted to provide them with information so that at least they could save themselves. So whatever I used to learn in my classes I used to tell them, sometimes even protected women from getting beaten by their husbands but only so much could be done by a young kid.

While at Sahas, we are engaging with different population from all across North India, it was finally time for these much needed conversations back at home. Due to COVID-19 crisis, and then lack of technological know-how in villages, we thought to engage with women through whatsapp video call. The preparation for gender, sexuality and reproductive health program with rural women was intense, required lot of information in terms of context, level of understanding and discussion with our parents. It was interesting how our entire family sat together, brought out their experiences, contributed in terms of what specific topics should be included, mode of conversations and duration of the program. Since it was our first online program with rural women, we were bubbling with energy, anticipation, excitement and with awareness that there might be technological mishaps.

Gender, sexuality and reproductive health program with rural women began with our first session on menstruation and sanitation. There were some glitches in the beginning so we switched to conference call. After setting the context, ground rules and why we are engaging with them, we invited them to share on ‘what comes to their mind when they hear the word periods’. Following which they were asked to share their first period experiences. If we could conclude the sharing in a simple line then none of them were aware of what was happening to them, they felt weird, scared and seemed that they have got some sort of disease! Even when they asked to their friend or mother – they just got arbitrary information about having blood come out of their body every month and they should use cloth. Scary isn’t – seems like a lifelong imprisonment that you never asked for.

 

In the next part of the session, we engaged on what are periods, why do girls get periods, menstrual cycle, importance of cleanliness and others.

Just when we were moving to the taboos associated with periods – one of the participants asked. “My mother in law instructs me not to wash my hairs while on periods as this can loosen the nerves, cause hair fall and can get stuck. Is this true?”

This very question paved the path to the conversations on taboos. However it was interesting to hear that one of the woman immediately responded, “Nah! This doesn’t happen to us, no one says nothing about doing this and that during periods”

But slowly they started opening up and taboos started pouring in – not allowed to walk, don’t do exercise or yoga, avoid eating cold things, curd, spices or sour things like pickles; don’t pray, visit temples or do anything related to worshiping and so on. We took this opportunity to engage on how these are all myth and have no logic behind them – periods are simply part of growing up, a biological change and preparation for motherhood. 

One of the things that I have heard again and again everywhere especially in villages that girl getting matured is related to her getting periods and so she should get married – which leads to early marriage following child birth deteriorating women’s body and well-being. It was crucial to have this conversation with women leading them to understanding their own body, adverse effects of early marriage and can they do something with this information?

“I didn’t know many of the things you told me today; as of now I don’t have question but I will ask you if I have later”

“I enjoyed it, never thought that I can talk about periods this openly”

“Even after having such a long marriage and 3 children, I didn’t know many things. I understood a lot”