Time to break shackles of periods

“I am not allowed to go anywhere near temple or worship place – touch or even see god while I am on periods! It’s just not allowed, I asked my mom but she just scolded me however offered no reason for it.”

We had our second workshop on periods with adolescents as part of our ongoing online gender, sexuality and reproductive health program. The session began with a quick recap of our first session on ‘physical changes during adolescence; it was joyful to watch participants respond quickly to mini question answer series with eagerness!

After going through agreements briefly, a sanitary pad was shown to the participants – with a question – whether they have seen this thing somewhere? Do they know what it is used for? To our surprise, one of the girls who usually seemed quiet raised her hand to answer the questions.

We then invited the group to share their experience of first periods – having big red stain on a white skirt/clothing is the worst nightmare during the periods which was experienced by the people in the group. One of them shared that along with having periods without any information, the fact that ‘you are no longer a child, you are a grown up’ whispered in hushed voices all around them which was evident in the actions, conversations and everywhere in a subtle way was scary.

We took this opportunity to build conversations on what, how and why of periods with the use of pictures, cards and presentations giving scope for the participants to ask questions as an when they wished.

The way periods make entry into the lives of girls in India is not just as physical change but carries a burden of social stigma, taboos, unwanted assumptions and evidently impacting their self-worth. In the next part of the session, we invited participants to share what all they have heard in terms of dos and don’ts while being on periods

 “Don’t pray to god or visit temples. Don’t touch pickles. If by any chance I touch pickles, my mother would scold me so much that I would think twice before touching the pickles even when I am not periods. There are so many restrictions posed! I asked my mom many times as to why I can’t do that – she just yells at me but never a reason was offered to me”

“I love cycling, but when I am on periods – I am not allowed to ride my cycle, play around or even jump. Swimming is not allowed, no entry into kitchen or anywhere near worship area.”

One of the boys shared that he has never heard anything of that sort, also he wasn’t much aware of what periods were before?

Another boy, “If there is any festivities, or some pious work happening then girls are not allowed. They can’t go near worship area, or cook food during auspicious occasion, worst I have heard they are also asked not to speak to boys!”

Sahas strongly believes that all these conversations around periods must include both boys and girls. Many a times, these conversations are carried out exclusively with the girls forgoing the basic fact that everyone co-habitat in the society so keeping physical changes exclusively to one gender may not just raise curiosity for others but may also lead to mockery, being used as an abuse and stigmatization. Now what will boys do with information –

“There are lot of young girls in my family and neighborhood- all this information is not available. Nobody knows about periods. If girls know about this information before they have periods or even during periods – it will be good and they won’t be scared. I can share this information with them – let them know what they can eat or what exercises they could do so that it will help with their pains. With this information, young girls won’t freak out”

“We can stop people from making fun or taking jabs on periods. So now I know about periods and its importance so I won’t make fun and with that I will stop other boys from making a joke out of it”

“I can help my sister and mother during periods by helping in household chores and can bring pad and other necessities from market. I can also speak to my sister if she is comfortable talking about it”   

In the next part of the conversations, one of the facilitator shared her personal experience of making a choice to take up a very difficult, strenuous yet very crucial opportunity while being on periods. We also shared examples from the sports person who no matter what situation are in play tournament. From very beginning of life,  girls are told what to do and what not to do – and these restrictions only increases with physical changes during adolescence like periods which not only limits their opportunities but also restrict their capacity to do things the way they might wish to do. So the primary objective of sharing these narratives was to debunk the myths, taboos, stereotypes and illogical assumptions by providing evidence based examples paving their path to fly as they want!

Every time I facilitate these sessions – there is this tiny hope in me that the periods won’t be like a nightmare for them as it is for most of the women because they lack information and basic access to menstrual hygiene.  

“When you were talking about periods, my mother and sister were sitting in the same room. It was awkward! I was feeling shy as to what would they think of me – I am boy why would I be listening to all the things about periods – but by the end I felt really confident and realized how crucial these information is. Didi, this information must be provided to everyone. I can now talk about it with anyone be it girls or boys making sure they are comfortable to talk about it.”