Exploring 'Who am I?' with the adolescent boys of Government School

“Boys never indulge in backbiting or gossiping like girls”

The session on ‘Who am I?’ with the adolescent boys of Government School began with the introduction of our crazy selves. Many hilarious, interesting and scandalous incidents were shared by the participants.

‘I can repair any bikes and cars’

‘I went to Rajapuri without telling anybody’

‘I have bunked classes many a times’

‘I have smoked, tried ganja too’

‘I drank beer and went out with my girlfriend’

‘I rode over dog’s tail’

Post this, the participants were invited to fill the pre-assessment forms to get a grasp of their understanding on various issues of adolescents.

‘I have never heard these questions – so many weird questions!’

One of the important activities in this session, is where the participants create their identity maps which involves exploring oneself, figuring out things they associate with their identity! In our daily lives, be it any age group – we hardly invest time for ourselves, constantly racing to do something, achieve something, interact with others or be someone so this activity gives that missed time to the students.

‘I enjoy going to the park and play games’

‘I love writing songs’

‘I enjoy dancing’

‘I love sleeping’

‘I like helping mother with household chores’

‘I love watching film shoots’

‘I hate fighting and arguing’

‘I don’t like Science at all’

‘I don’t like staying at home at all’

‘I enjoy laughing and being happy’

However one of the identity map caught my attention, where the participant had shared all the good things about himself – it was good to hear especially in these times when people constantly remind you of your flaws or shortcomings but holding on to best in yourself is definitely endearing. 

On asking how it felt when the participants hear others having similar points in their identity maps – “I felt good because someone shares the same perspective, we have something in common and we are not alone!”

On the other hand, not finding anything common – “I don’t like it, it makes me feel different like I am not part of this.”

It was interesting to see that in the very first session, we got the glimpse of strong gender stereotypes among the participants along with peer pressure in terms of indulging in drugs/smoking and making girlfriends as a tool of showing off or to prove a point.

One of the conversations that I had with a boy who was constantly interrupting and commenting on others cemented my belief that it’s so important to speak to adolescents beyond studies in order to understand why they are doing what they are doing!

Me: You do realize that this class is not mandatory so if you don’t want you can leave!

Participant: But I want to sit.

Me: You can! But you are not paying attention, you are commenting, threatening others. You can speak to others in civilized way.

Participant: Didi, I have to assert myself. If I don’t do this, they won’t listen to me. I have to appear strong and scary sometimes – that’s cool and people can’t take you for granted!

In the same session, I had an absolutely opposite conversation.

One of the participants shared that he loves helping his parents. I was very curious because most of the times people say that to create an impression and may not really mean it – so I inquired more on this.

Participant: After I finish my school, I go to my father’s stall and help him with his work. His stall is near the other school. Then I go home and finish my homework. And then I help my mother with household chores.

All the time, while he spoke about what he does, there was a smile playing on his face indicating his happiness no regret! I was stunned by the honesty and genuine attitude of this young boy.