“Do you think only men
or boys are sexual offenders?”
The session on ‘child
sexual abuse’ is the core of the work that we engage in with the adolescents.
The issue is very sensitive, crucial and needs to be handled in the most
careful way, so once the participants
are comfortable with the physical changes, their body, develop understanding of
consent and sex along with how gender works in their lives, it becomes comparatively
easier to discuss this issue.
The session began with
the reiteration of the agreements strongly here considering how sensitive this
topic is, followed by the intent for the workshop. Then video ‘Komal’ by Child
line was screened for the participants, after this circle was opened for the
participants to share
‘if they have ever experienced something like this?’ or ‘if they have seen something like this happening’.
‘if they have ever experienced something like this?’ or ‘if they have seen something like this happening’.
There was lot of things
happening, participants whispering to each other, some evading eyes, shifting
in their places, showing signs of discomfort, clearly many of them wanted to
share but something was stopping them. One of the participant shared that he
had seen a girl being molested by two boys while he was going to the market.
One of the boys said, ‘I
don’t really trust my classmates to share this.’
This was a fair point
and quite understandable since it’s a huge group of 50 students and not
everyone is comfortable getting vulnerable. However this is a brownie point for
us, because he trusted us to share this with us! The silence or the reactions
we faced here also indicate two things: one they might be thinking about the experience
of child sexual abuse they encountered or whether they should share here or
not.
This was followed by the presentation on ‘child
sexual abuse’ – which included what is child sexual abuse, who does it,
statistics, feelings and thoughts associated with it.
The objective of the
session is not just to aware the adolescents on ‘what is child sexual abuse’
but to build their capacity to challenge it if they face any threat. In the
next step, we invited the participants to fill the safety action plan individually,
where they were told about safety rules and what to do when someone tries to
touch them inappropriately. This action plan explores the feelings, thoughts
and associated situation and then it slowly moves to different touch followed by
safety rules.
There was flurry of
questions that followed after the discussion –
“If a boy have sex with
another boy, then either of them could get pregnant? Is that also abuse”
“You said that having
sex below a certain age is a crime even if we have consent, does that mean we
can’t have girlfriend?”
This question in
particular caught my attention not because it’s important but it’s also
indicates conflict when we engage with them on sex education! However the
answer to it is equally simple and thoughtful. I am glad that engaging in these
workshops is making them question the choices and present reality!
“About condoms, they
are available in the medical stores, but younger kids like us have no access to
it”
At the end of the
workshop, two of the participants came to us and asked for extra safety action
plan “I have a sister in 5th standard, she is growing, this is
important to her as much as it is important to, so can you give me one more so
that I can tell her what I learnt.”
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