कब खत्म होगी महिलाओं और लड़कियों के खिलाफ यौनिक हिंसा

मुझे समझ नहीं आता है कि हम कैसे समाज का हिस्सा हैं। क्या ये आजाद भारत वो हैं जिसका सपना आज से सालों पहले गुलाम भारत के लोगों ने देखा था? क्या उन्होंने ये सोचा होगा कि आजादी के इतने साल बाद भी लड़कियां और महिलाएं खुद की कॉलेज में, कार्यस्थल पर, सार्वजनिक जगहों पर या फिर घरों में हिंसा का यूं शिकार होंगी? मेरे कान थक चुके हैं ये सुनते सुनते कि अब तो लड़कियां लड़कों के साथ कंधे से कंधा मिलाकर चलती हैं, हमारे राजनीतिक पटल पर इतनी महिलाएं कार्यरत हैं, अब तो जेंडर गैरबराबरी है ही नहीं, आजकल तो लड़के खतरे में आ गए हैं, आपने वो किस्सा सुना जहां भरी रोड़ पर एक लड़की ने ऑटो वाले को तमाचा जड़ दिया, ये नारीवाद ने तो घरों का नाश कर दिया।

तो मैं उन सभी समाज के ठेकेदारों, ये बातें करने वाले बुद्धिजीवियों, मीडिया वाले साथियों से पूछना चाहूंगी कि एक पढ़ी लिखी लड़की जिसने न जाने कितनी मेहनत और चुनौतियों के बाद एक मेडिकल कॉलेज में दाखिला लिया, पूरी पढ़ाई की और वो रात में पढ़ रही थी तो फिर किसी आदमी की कैसे हिम्मत हुई कि वो वहां घुस आया, उसके साथ बलात्कार कर मौत के घाट उतार दिया। जब किसी मेडिकल कॉलेज में एक भावी डॉक्टर सुरक्षित नहीं तो लड़कियां और महिलाएं कहां सुरक्षित हैं – ये महज कोलकाता का मामला नहीं है भारत के हर कोने में हर रोज हर घंटे ऐसी घटना होती है जिससे लड़कियों की आजादी छीन रही है। कहां है वो लोग जो कहते हैं कि लड़कियां तो आज बहुत आजाद हो गई हैं – क्या आपने रोड पर चलती लड़की को देखा है तो सिमट कर, कभी दुपट्टा ठीक करती, तो कभी साड़ी का पल्लू संभालती तो कभी अपनी शर्ट को देखती है कि कभी कुछ दिखाई तो नहीं दे रहा है कि सामने वाला उसे ऐसे घू रहा है।

बलात्कार महज एक अपराध नहीं है बल्कि लड़कियों और महिलाओं की आजादी छीनने का, अपनी मर्दानगी जताने का और सबसे बड़ी बात एक ढांचागत फेलियर है प्रशासनिक तंत्रों की जो अलग अलग योजनाओं का दावा देते हुए कभी वोट बैंक भरते हैं तो कभी अपने जैब। आजादी के समय अलग अलग जगह कार्यक्रम करने, या फिर नारों से नहीं आएगी – बहुत जरूरी है कि लोग अपने गिरेबान में झांके और सोचे कि कितने बार उनकी नजरों ने घूरा है, कितने बार उन्होंने महिला या लड़की पर हो रहे भेदभाव या हिंसा से मुंह फेरा है, कितने बार सिर्फ हिंसा को महिलाओं का मुद्दा मानकर छोड़ दिया है, कितने बार घर में, अपने कार्यस्थल पर भेदभाव किया या देकर नजरअंदाज किया है, कितने बार किसी के कपड़ों, आवाज या बर्ताव पर कमेंट किया है या सुना है – हो सकता है ये बातें आपको छोटी या बेमानी लग रही हैं – पर अगर आप इनमें से किसी भी चीज के भागीदार रहे हैं तो आप भी कोलकाता में हुए मेडिकल छात्रा के बलात्कार में हिस्सेदार हैं।

आजादी के मायने महज विकास से, शिक्षा से. कानून में बदलाव लाने, प्रशासनिक कार्रवाई से नहीं बल्कि अपनी रूढ़िवादी और पितृसत्तामक मानसिकता (फिर आपका कोई भी जेंडर, जाति या क्लास हो) को समझने और चुनौती देने से आएगी।

 

Searching for meaning of ‘Azadi’ as India completes 78 years of Independence

 Every year in the month of August, Sahas Foundation launches a campaign exploring the gender stereotypes and discrimination faced by young women and girls in India. This month signifies a crucial historical moment –India after years of struggles and sacrifices became Independent country, freeing itself from the clutches of colonial rule of British Empire. While our country will be completing 78 years of Independence, there is always this thought lingering and nagging in my mind as to what does this independence means to me and for my fellow Indians especially the girls and women I work with in the rural areas?

With this thought, we at Sahas launched ‘Azadi campaign’ exploring the meaning of freedom for ourselves, remembering our roots and ideologies that facilitated the freedom struggle, learning about the social reformers and revolutionaries like Rabindranath Tagore, Baba Saheb Ambedkar, Jyotiba Phule and Savitribai Phule and then creating a safe space in the community for the girls to examine what ‘Azadi’ means to them.

After initiating the online campaign, we facilitated a workshop on ‘Azadi’ with Sahasi girls. The session started with brief introduction, agreements and poem ‘Where Mind is without fear’ by Rabindranath Tagore. This was followed by mind map on ‘Azadi’; few responses were –

‘To live freely’

‘I am able to go wherever I want to’

‘To be able to do things without any fear’

‘To be able to do things on my own, without listening to others or their instructions’

This was followed by storytelling session where the girls read out the stories of Baba Saheb Ambedkar, Savitribai Phule and Jyotiba Phule aloud. Few of things shared by girls –

‘We mustn’t discriminate people based on their caste or gender’

‘The social work is a challenging job, people will always oppose it’

‘Education is very important’

We as Sahas team could relate and resonate to each and every word from the story of Savitribai Phule, as even after so many years working on girls education and their rights is so challenging. We have been subjected to verbal abuse, gossips behind our backs, drunk men and boys have created unnecessary conflicts and despite our efforts the mothers still don’t allow girls to come to programs. It was equally amazing to see that even the girls affirmed that our journey is quite similar to the pioneer of feminism in India. We are honored to walk on the path laid by social reformers and feminist like Savitribai Phule.

The girls enjoyed and loved the poetry by Kamla Bhasin and this acted as an inspiration for them to write Azadi slogans –

‘Khulkar jeena, hawao mein udhna hai, yehi hamara nara hai’

‘Ladhkiya bhi ladhko ke sath kadam milakar chal sakti hai’

‘Hum ladhkiyo ka yeh hai kehna, anpadh banker kabhi na rehna’

‘Apni marzi se jeena aur kaam karna hai hamara adhikar’

‘Padhi likhi ladhki, roshni ghar ki’

‘Hamein kisi se darr kar nahi hai jeena, yehi hai nara hamara’

All of us had chocolates to celebrate Independence Day. We also organized race competition for children and young girls where they enjoyed a lot.

For us, Azadi also means inclusion, so we went to the house of young girl with disability, had brief conversation and provided her with a story book by Premchand. Then we went to the house of young boy with cerebral palsy who has been part of our program since last December. It was beautiful experience to see him all dressed up, clean shaven and arriving on wheel chair. We have been working so hard to arrange this for him so that he can access things and places without depending on others. Two of the Sahasi Girls read story of Baba Saheb Ambedkar. Slowly different members of his family joined in to listen to the story and engage in the conversation. His mother said that this is also given by god, we have to just go with it. Our facilitator interjected here because this line of thought can be dangerous, once we believe that this is all by god we look away from the discrimination and violence that people do based on different identities. Having a disability, or belonging to a particular caste, class or gender must not be license or used as tool by others to justify their acts of violence. This was strongly emphasized by one of our team members. Later, we celebrated Independence day by pining the flag and distributing chocolates.

At the same time, a woman with two girls arrived asking us to help her with their school fees. It is unfortunate that we were about to get her elder daughter admitted in nearby school but before that the family got her married. She was merely 14 years old. I asked the mother at what age she was married, she smiled and said she was about the same age as her daughter. I was angry, how could she do the same when she has lived a harrowing life herself. Unfortunately she showed no remorse, instead she laughed. One of our facilitator got frustrated and asked her as to what made her laugh? Like subjecting your daughter to the same miserable life as she has lived – does that seem like a joke? Why are daughters treated like garbage, if they are so disposable then you have no right to give them birth! These instances though make us feel bad but motivate us to keep working to protect and support the girls from early marriage.

With this Azadi campaign, our team stands strongly on the values of Baba Saheb Ambedkar, Savitribai Phule, Jyotiba Phule and the constitution of India. We are committed to building safer, inclusive society where people are not judged, discriminated or violated just because of who they are.

From Sahasi Girls to Sahasi leaders

 After successful culmination of community building workshop, the next step in the Sahasi Girls program involved inspiring the girls to take up leadership roles. With this objective, we organized a workshop with the girls to map their intention, sharing our objectives and building a discourse on accountability and setting boundaries as the first step towards leadership in their community.

In the first activity, we encouraged the girls to share on ‘why do they come for the workshops or sessions organized by Sahas?’ Some of the answers were –

‘This is the first time in the village when someone is organizing programs for girls. Our families, villagers don’t really care about us. It is you who organizes these meetings so that the girls can move ahead and do something in their lives’

‘You gave us strength to voice our thoughts, feelings and challenges’

‘I come to these meetings because I know you will tell us something important’

‘You inspire us and give us courage to keep moving’

‘I learnt openness to learn new things and participate’

‘These programs talk about importance of girl’s education’

‘Girls are no less than boys’

‘You gave us courage to continue our education’

It was beautiful and inspiring to hear that our intention of working with the girls in the village has reached them and they are learning, listening and implementing them in their lives.

In the next activity, through chart paper, the facilitator shared the objective behind running Sahasi Girls program and various activities and sub programs running as part of it. While doing so, both the team members and girls realized that these programs have supported many girls be it education initiatives, sports or creative endeavors.

The third part was tricky and challenging yet crucial because this conversation will lay the foundation of Sahasi Leaders and associated programs in following months. In the span of 4 years, Sahas team has encountered multitudes of challenges, harassed by the family members of girls, drunk villagers, rowdy men trying to stop football games and even authority people in the village. Despite that, team members never stopped supporting the girls, however many times girls under the influence of family members have tried to take advantage of team members, called them unnecessarily, demanded things like bicycle etc because other girl in need has received it. So, to counter all of this, and establish accountability and boundaries on both ends, cofounder at Sahas clearly stated the issues, what kind of things are expected from the girls and what support can be provided by Sahas.

This dialogue was well received by the girls and they affirmed their participation keeping in mind the value of mutual respect and boundaries. The girls were divided into 5 groups each group had 2 appointed leaders. They will be meeting every week and engage in activities to build community, understand and support each other better. In the last part of the session, we did an interest mapping for various activities like learning computer, English, theatre, art and music. The joy of getting opportunity to learn various skills was unmatchable.    

Building community for the girls by the girls

Sahasi Girls program has been running successfully in Khushipura village for more than a year now; the girls have increased access to education, knowledge regarding their rights and SRHR and they are now advocating for their rights as well. However the feeling of community and a connection among themselves seems to be lacking; to cater to this challenge, we at Sahas Foundation decided to organize a community building session for Sahasi Girls. The primary objective of this workshop was to inspire girls to engage in self-evaluation, learn that it’s not necessary to identify themselves with achievements and learn to appreciate each other as well. This can be a start to bring in the value of community.

The workshop began with brief introduction, agreements and a gender riddle. It was amazing to witness a young girl crack the gender riddle as soon as the facilitator finished saying it. In our experience of engaging with the students studying in one of the best universities, women and activists with lot of knowledge fail to answer this riddle however this young girl who has been part of our programs since last year could overcome gender related stereotypes and answer it correctly.

In the first activity, the girls were invited to engage on three simple questions. For the statement – 3 good things they have done in the day, or past week or month, the responses were –

‘I went to the school, started studying for class 11^th and you came today to be with us was the best thing’

‘I helped a girl in my school. She had come for the first time and seemed scared, so when she asked me what is being taught here, I told her to come sit with me, and then helped her’

‘While I was on my way to the school, I saw a boy who was injured. I helped him get up and dropped him till his house.’

‘I passed in 10^th class, you did the workshop where we learnt a lot of things.’

‘I enjoyed teaching students in the school, I like sitting with you and engaging in the conversations.’

‘One of the girls in my school didn’t bring her lunch, so I shared my food with her. That is one good thing I did.’

‘We play game of antakshari every Saturday in our school, I won with the maximum points.’

‘I worked hard to study in the class, I completed all my class work in due time and I was not disrespectful to anyone’

‘My mother was not feeling well one day, she asked me not to go to school. I refused and said that I will go to school. When I came back home, I also helped in completing household chores.’    

In the next part, they were asked to write on 3 things they are grateful for –

‘My parents and I get this opportunity to come and participate in the workshops.’

‘My family and I am not getting married. Thank god!’

‘The good thing about my life is I am able to get education’

‘I am grateful that I have finally gotten 11^th class books’

‘I am grateful that you come and organize the workshops for us – otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten this opportunity to go to school’

It was challenging for the girls to write the answers for the first two questions primarily because these things are never part of conversation either in schools or homes especially in rural areas. Secondly, the girls are constantly reminded of what wrong they have done, or how they can work better rather than appreciating them. This makes it even harder for them to find good in them. Again, in life we are so used to and are surrounded by challenges, problems and issues that we take many good things in our life for granted and forget the things we are and can be grateful for.

Interestingly for the third statement, their answers gave us hope because the girls despite experiencing challenges now have dreams, they are thinking about future and have aspirations.

‘I want to continue my education.’

‘I want to become a school teacher’

‘I want to complete my education, become doctor and then express gratitude to my family and didis’

‘I want to learn computer, and become Police’

‘I want to do a job after completing my education’

‘I want to complete my education with good marks. I want to ride a bike’

‘I want to study so much that no one ever expected me to’

‘I want to be successful’

‘I want to become a singer’

‘I want to study, learn stitching and earn money’

This activity looked beautiful with the colorful post-ids adorning the chart paper depicting different aspects of girls’ life in the village. The next activity involved defining themselves in one word.  Immediately one of the girls said that I am daughter which led to dialogue on gender and relational identity of girls and women. One of the girls said that ‘I feel that someone understands me, because of these workshops. No one in the family has ever understood me or tried to do.’ On the other hand, one girl said that I don’t even know myself. All of these feelings and thoughts were relevant and important because this session can be the starting point of knowing oneself.

Since the first part of the workshop was focused on self perception, we slowly moved towards community aspect – where the girls formed concentric circles and one by one took some time to share one positive quality of each other. There were lot of giggling and laughing!

The session closed with strongly voicing some of the affirmations like ‘I will not compare myself with others’, ‘I am not defined by people’s opinions’ and so on. The loud voices of girls were a delight to listen to and these self affirmations will be the guiding force for them in the  upcoming times.