Comprehensive Sexuality Education: personal experiences then and now!

“I don’t really know how parents would react towards providing sex education in the school, but what I know is that the fellow teachers actually would gossip around and spread bad things about me if I attempt also. So there was this time, when two girls came to the science lab during lunch time and the door was partially closed, I didn’t do anything but answer them. The next thing I heard was I purposely ask girls to come during recess because that time no one is there. I am a family man I can’t afford having bad name or loose a job over a rumor” says a male teacher.

“But, the children know what is right or wrong for them! When we were in 6^th Standard, we girls knew that we shouldn’t go to this certain teacher alone anytime, so we used to visit his room in groups. However with a supportive teacher, things can become really good for students. I remember I was really good in quiz competition. The next competition was organized in the city, as I was the only girl, I was told not to go and there were no female teacher who could accompany me. I really wanted to go because I knew I will win and I didn’t want to lose this opportunity. My teacher not only prepared me, but went against all odds to take me ahead in the competition and I won state championship. But teachers like him are rare”

The second day began with the wolf and sheep energizer, we were bit apprehensive as to should be do this or not- because it’s a very physical game and the teachers were wearing sarees! But at the same time, we had a very engaging and intimidating gender session last day. So this energizer was a challenge for both the facilitators and the participants. What happened was nothing less than the surprise, both male and female teachers excelled on their part- there was just fierce confidence and the hold that “I can do this”, what a brilliant way to begin the day with :-)

Usually the discussions begin with the ‘why do we need a particular thing?’ But here in case of Comprehensive sexuality education- we went in the reverse way- we engaged on the popular reasons that are stated why we shouldn’t impart CSE?

One of the most popular reasons being- “Sexuality education is completely against our culture” – surprisingly most of the participants stated that sexuality education has got nothing to do with the culture. One of them said that there have been so many traditions which were followed in the name of culture that were inhuman and unfair, and so we can’t really say that culture teaches us the right path and more over we are the one that makes culture and hence it can be changed depending on the need and the human values.

Second- “All these things doesn’t happen in my school/class”- Most of them nodded against this – because the issues around adolescents are rampant and curiosities are quite visible. One of the teacher said, “Initially our school had all male teacher, one day a girl had periods, we all freaked out because none of us really knew what was happening to her, is she hurt? Or how can we help her? Will she be okay if we talk to her then we had to actually call a teacher from the close by school to deal with the situation? I was actually paranoid for the first time in my life”

Third- “Teachers are already overburdened with work without having this extra subject to teach”- this was one of the reasons almost all teacher agreed to since as a teacher, their responsibility is not just restricted to teaching students but also they are accountable for admin work, examination and official duties. However it was interesting to see teacher contemplating on their own student life and the last day discussion which also emphasized the need to talk about this with their students. So, one of the teacher said that they would take out time for a free lesson and talk about these issues. Also here, one of the teachers shared how he under the social sciences, tried imparting sex education and HIV awareness, certain teachers went against him and complained about it to the Principal. He enquired about this to the students and also with the teacher- they seemed to be happy about the information given so Principal not only gave him green signal but also motivated him to take these lessons with other students.

Fourth- “Giving students this kind of information is like giving them a green signal to experiment” This lead to an amazing and interesting discussion because teachers did had their apprehensions and questions about Sexuality education. On dwelling deeper over the statement, they came to the conclusion that adolescents are already experiencing, seeing and hearing about this in their spaces, from technology or from their peers, so it’s better if they are provided with guided age appropriate information that could help them take right decision. Also this will facilitate awareness about their physical body, make them into confident adults and also preventing child sexual abuse.

Once we came up to the conclusion through discussions, debates, and personal sharing that ‘Sexuality education’ is indeed needed in the schools, in the second part of the session the participants were invited to dwell on the components of sexuality education and reflect on their experiences of their adolescence and how they dealt with these issues. This activity turned out to be mind blowing with humongous response which only cemented the need for sexuality education.

First group shared on ‘sex education’- where they shared that around the age of 13-14 they first heard about sex, there was so much curiosity around it but they had no one to answer that. Mostly all the information came from peer and they were intended to do things which now they think were not right. 

Second group shared on ‘Peer pressure and body image’- Here the participants insisted that the adolescents must be educated about peer pressure and body image by listing the positives and negative impact. Some of them also shared how body image issues led to low self esteem and lowered their self confidence in their growing years.

Third group shared about ‘Menstruation’ where women participants shared that they got to know about periods only when they had, and even then there was no discussion, they experienced lot of shame and felt dirty about it. Though they heard about myths and still follow them like not going to religious place, not touching pickle during periods. Also the male participants never actually heard about it. Strangely they recalled how they used to feel bad or guilty or shame when advertisements about sanitary pad used to come on television!

 Fourth group discussed about Puberty, good and bad aspects of growing up where they listed various points- for example: females start feeling insecure because of breasts, periods, people make fun. Also the lack of awareness led to tension, pressure, frustrations and here there were lot of expectations being imposed, so they didn’t really got directions but were bombarded with lot of do’s and don’ts without explanations.

Fifth and the last group shared about “Gender”-

“Yes, the girls are told what subjects to take and what not to. After boards I was told not to take mathematics by my teachers. I was forced to study medical and fared miserably and then I took the decision to follow my interest and now I am MSc in Mathematics and Maths teacher.”

“the gender discrimination is propagated not just in subjects but also the sports that students play for example hockey, football or cricket is for boys while girls are asked to play kho kho or indoor games. The sports teachers are mostly male and they literally ask girls students not to play the games like cricket”

“Also after puberty, there is so much restrictions on girls about what to wear, they are constantly asked to wear dupattas or suit salwar to hide their body parts, they are told not to sit with boys”

“So I really liked by chachaji, he was everything to me, I used to play with him, eat with him and also sleep with him and suddenly as I was 11 years old I was restricted even to meet him. That time I thought I did something terribly wrong that’s why this happened with me”

It was beautiful to see how teachers could reflect on their adolescent years and understand that the students need sexuality education because immediately after this one of the teacher came and said to me, “We have lot of space during assembly time, we can actually prepare a synopsis and present it in an interactive way so that more and more students are benefited by the information”