Why do we need Sex Education? : Working with adolescents gave the answers!

“So what do you think, menstruation is important or crucial for whom?”

“Girls” “Women”

“No, I think for both girls and boys; because if a woman can menstruate only then a child will be born, which is important for both men and women”

Our ongoing intervention with boys from government school, Dwarka has been full of surprises and learning experiences. To engage with all boys group on “menstruation” for the first time was not easy since it is considered to be girls issue, also it’s not openly talked about between a mother and a daughter as well, it is one of the hushed topics that no one should engage in! But to break this box of ignorance and taboos, it’s important to talk not just to the girls but also to the boys because in the world beyond classrooms and workshop, gender and sexual identities co-exist- awareness about each other would only help in making a society a better place to live in.

We began the session with the ‘coin energizer’, where the participants were asked to form straight line and pass coin among themselves (of course with a twist)  and when the person who begin the game reaches the end of the line, the game is over- whichever group completes the game first, is declared winner. It was a riot in the hall while the participants ran to win the game.

The first video “Hello periods” was screened followed by discussion as to map their understanding followed by questions.

“Menstruation indicated girls are healthy”

“We can help girls by teaching them yoga asanas shown in the video”

The second video was based on ‘masturbation’, interestingly they knew the meaning but were not aware about what it is called as! There were few giggles here and there which grew into silence once it was being explained. Many of the older boys were keeping silent.

“I always wondered how I was borne”

“Can a 4 year old have sex?”

“When I see a girl just like that, she also starts seeing me. I feel weird? Why does this happen?”

“Can we have sex without having a fear of having children?”

“How are hijras born? Can they also give birth to children?”   

“Is masturbation harmful?”

This and many more questions followed after screening of movie “Papu and Papa sex chat- Pregnancy”

The curiosity, confusion and interest around how children are born, what is sex, what happens during sex, attraction towards other sex, how is this decided whether male child or female child will born, how are twins born came up. I was catering to all these questions, while in back of mind I was struggling to understand how this curiosity is also gendered as in the same session- girls were very hesitant in asking question on the another hand, the boys were silent initially but after few moments they had ample number of questions around sex! Also from their questions it seemed that they are on the roads of exploring love, sex and beyond that. I was also thinking that there is so much debate around the right age to engage in sex education- with the changing time and experiences from the workshop- I feel it’s essential that the adolescents need to be fully aware of the “Sex Education”

The last film in the series was based on “condoms”, this also catered the question which was asked after the previous film. Many questions followed after this film as well-

“What has flavor to do with condoms”

“Like men, can women also use condom?”

“How many children should be given birth to?”

 “What is AIDS?”

“Why do some boys behave like girls?”

Then we opened the circle for the questions around today’s workshop, also we kept a provision of box where they can put their questions anonymously. And then the tsunami of questions arrived, such questions were asked that I was left shocked, thankfully I am student of biology and I do have an understanding of “reproduction system and pharmaceutics” I could answer their questions.

“Why do girls scream when they have sex for the first time? Why does blood come of their vagina?”

“In this age, I am attracted to number of girls and it seems they are also attracted to me? I am not able to stop myself, I feel weird! Why does this happen during this age and why not after 21, as that’s the age when I will be adult?”

“Do hizras are like us? How?”

“Doing masturbation can change the fingerprints of our hands?”

“Why do we have boils on our penis?”

The session turned out to be exactly opposite to my assumptions – they boys who appeared shy- could ask many crucial questions, their curiosity helped me understand the need of sex education- such question if not answered can lead them to explore these on their own- from internet, from their peers and worst by experimentation. I am really grateful to these adolescents that they supported us in co-creating a safe space where they could share their fears and curiosity leading to their development into aware and responsible individuals.