Learning to say 'NO' to child sexual abuse

“Why does child sexual abuse happen? Why do people do this?”

A very simple question coming from curiosity and instinctive mind from an adolescent however stumped me. I didn’t know how to answer it because can there be a logic or reasonable explanation or any statement for an act that violates someone? I don’t think so! The only thing that came to my mind is when the person doesn’t understand body autonomy, that one’s body is their own business, that no one has right to do anything without consent or the people who abuses their strength or power does that – and thinking about why they do what they do could be a step towards understanding or justifying the act!

The session on child sexual abuse with the adolescent participants from Government school began with the screening of short video by Child line. This was followed by inviting the students to draw body and indicate the parts where no one should touch them. It was a surreal experience to watch them intently draw, some of them put a cross on the four body parts, few highlighted the body parts and others circled it – this was to grasp their thoughts and understanding of relationship between touch and body.

Through the presentation we talked in detail about child sexual abuse and POCSO Act 2012 and why it is important to be aware of CSA beyond the knowledge of good touch and bad touch. In the next part of the session, we engaged on ‘challenging child sexual abuse’. One of the practice that we have included in the workshop this year is saying NO out aloud. Understanding CSA is one step, but what would I do if something like this happens to me. Saying out aloud is a major exercise where the participants yell NO many a times till they get comfortable of saying it – this gives them voice – a power to challenge which they have in them but are unaware of. It is a powerful activity which changes the entire environment of the session.

One of the major aspect of challenging CSA is recognizing trusted adult – someone who would listen to you, understand you, will support and be there for you without judging or shaming. It was heartening to see them pondering and coming up with the names of father, mother, elder sister and big brother. To make them understand that it is not the fault of the person who is at end of violence and it is okay to seek help is very crucial.   

The session was then opened for questions –

‘Why would anyone do this?’

‘Does it happen with boys?’’

‘What happens when someone calls 1098?’

Since this was the last workshop, we also asked the participants to share their feedback –

‘I learnt a lot during the workshop. I got to know about physical changes, private parts of boys and girls. I didn’t even know the names’

‘I learnt about good touch and bad touch’

‘I understood that we shouldn’t touch someone’s private part. It is wrong and criminal offence’

‘I enjoyed the workshop on gender – it is good to know that both girls and boys can do whatever they want to’

‘I liked the session on gender, understanding that we are the ones who created these difference’

‘I understood that there are identities more than just boy and girl’

‘I learnt about sex and what does saying NO means’