When we talk about
gender and patriarchy, it seems very confusing as to which one created other!
Is it gender that brought the system of patriarchy? Or was it Patriarchy that
gave birth to gender norms? To explore more and understand how they impact our
lives, we engaged with Police participants on gender differences they see or
experience while they are in different spaces. Few of the observations shared
by participants are:
Home-
‘All the household
chores like cooking food, washing dishes, clothes, decorating home or putting
henna are all classified as women’s work’
‘Buying vegetables,
paying bills, changing bulbs or electricity bills comes under the category of
work men are expected to do ’
‘Boys are thrashed
more’
‘Women are not allowed
to go out of home – if they have to go out, they have to ask for permission. If
they go out they are asked to come before sun sets’
‘Men do cleaning of
cars and fans’
‘Boys/men come home
drunk’
‘All the work that
needs physical capacity has to be done by men’
‘There is a big
difference between the toys of girls and boys; you would always find a teddy
bear or dolls in girls’ room’
‘Blue is for boys and
pink is for girls’
‘It is always women who
get up first in the households; if we are going for picnic they pack food and
other stuff. They not only do their work but also do other’s work’
‘Girls are more
responsible and mature than boys’
‘All the important
decisions including finance ones for family are taken by men’
‘It is women who take
care of the money matters related to household expenditures’
Education-
‘Most of the times
girls are able to study till primary or middle level education; they are either
made to study in Hindi medium or in government school so that least amount of
money is spent on them’
‘There are typical jobs
assigned for girls like be Doctor, teacher, banking etc.’
‘If a family doesn’t have
sound economic background, then the girl would have to drop out of school even
if she is better in studies than her brother’
‘Even in co-ed schools,
the number of girls would be less’
‘Drop rate for girls is
still very high, they are not sent outside village/town or any other city for
further studies’
‘It is assumed that
boys are notorious and girls are sweet and nice in the school’
‘When we see textbooks
especially history, we would get to read more about glory tales of kings and
hardly mentions of women warriors’
‘Even if we are talking
about women rules, we use the term mardani for Jhansi ki rani
comparing their strength with men!’
‘The primary school
mostly have female teachers considering that women have caring behavior so they
can take care of younger kids’
‘Girls are discouraged
from any education that leads to risk taking jobs’
Media
‘It is forbidden for
women to choose media as career’
‘As compared to actors
in the film industry, actress are paid very less’
‘Career of actress is
over once they are married’
‘Media industry
objectifies women in every possible ways; for example in advertisement for a
product to be used by men would invariably have women with an intention to
seduce men to buy the product’
‘Daily soaps or
meaningless gossip programs will always have women or are meant for women
however crime shows, adventure shows, hard core news will always have men. Even
the title of shows are like – Men Vs Wild’
‘Male actor could be
black, short or old but beauty standards for actress is mandatory – they have
to be fair, sexy figure and young’
‘Item songs, cheer
leading are all supposed to be women’s job!’
‘The leading job that
shapes up media like director or producer are mostly men’
‘Talking specifically
about news – finance, sports, crime and prime time – they would have men as presenter’s’
‘Interestingly, makeup
artists are men; all the cooking shows like Master Chef as men as chefs’
‘Talking about social
media, women get more likes and comments on their posts while boys get funny
comments or slurs. Women experience more stalking, character attack on their
opinions, get derogatory personal messages’
‘It is also said
casually that women/girls who are very active on social media don’t have good
character’
Religion –
‘Outside home, most of
the religious practices and prayers are conducted by men; there are some
serious and very strict rules for women only’
‘All the high position in
different religions as priest, paigambar, gurus and others are for men’
‘When girls hit
puberty, it is that time when they are classified as pure and impure related to
religious practices’
‘Thread ceremony – upnayan
sanskar is carried out for boys; pind dhan a very scared ceremony for
elders of family is also done by boys, simple practices like breaking coconut
which is considered auspicious for beginning of any work has to be done by men’
‘Girls are forbidden to
visit graveyard or giving fire to their dead parents that’s also considered as
men’s duty’
‘All the discriminating
or derogatory practices like sati pratha, devdasi for women are borne
out of religion’
Work place/ Police
force –
‘Risky position like naxalite
areas, conflict zones and decision making positions are clearly kept for men in
Police force’
‘People don’t prefer
girls from police force for marriage’
‘Women are given
leverage in physical tests as compared to men’
‘Women officers are
addressed as sir and many a times they also prefer being called sir’
‘If a man is Police, he
won’t be addressed as male police but women would be addressed as female police
for sure’
‘No one really likes
working under women police officer, they don’t take women’s order seriously as
well’
‘The positions in
Police forces are created keeping men in mind’
It was interesting to
witness a long and engaging discussion on how names of jobs are gendered and
whenever a woman occupies that job then automatically we add woman/female to it.
Also how a woman would never object to it but men surely does like nurse; so if
a man is addressed as nurse, he would quickly add male nurse because he is
offended by the very profile as job of nurse is supposed to be for women.
Public spaces -
‘Men urinate publicly
without any shame.’
‘You would see men more
in public spaces while women are restricted to homes’
‘Men can smoke or drink
in public but if woman dares smoke then hell will break loose’
‘No one would say
anything is a man roams around for 3-4 hours outside without any reason but if
a girl just stand outside then she would be questioned elaborately’
‘What man sees in woman
while in public space – her breasts’
‘The first thought or
feeling that invariably crowds a girl when she sees a boy in public space is
fear! She gets scared that he might touch her, just breeze beside her making
her uncomfortable’
‘Girls are rarely seen
alone in public spaces, they are either accompanied with someone they are
related to or with their friends’
‘Girls ponder a lot
over safety issues while going out of their homes’
‘If a boy is seen with
different girls he is called stud and becomes popular but if a girl is seen
with boys, people immediately point towards her character’
With the help of these points,
we engaged on the common pattern that we see in all these spaces, who has
access to resources, who has upper hand when it comes to decision making and
who is benefiting? Discussion over the gender differences evident in various
spaces and the conversations post that were used to explain patriarchy and how
it affects people with different gender and sexual identities and not just
women in general.
I was surprised when
one of the participant talked about male gaze in public spaces, most of the
women have experienced it but no one really has courage to voice out discomfort
when they encounter it. Interestingly that doesn’t even count as an act of
violence which is punishable! Police has to act a lot in public spaces, I
wonder how would these people who are aware about it can deal with it? Will
they acknowledge it and challenge it or would they see it and ignore it?
Another interesting
discussion followed after this, where we talked about different gender and
sexual identities, the notion of heterosexuality being normal and abolition of 377!
It was heartening to hear that at least they are aware of the terms however it
was quite evident that many of them were uncomfortable with the idea of
homosexuality. Honestly I believe that once you acknowledge the existence, you
can move ahead towards acceptance.
No comments:
Post a Comment