“I came to know
that I am boy because of my name as girls have name like Vandana, Pinky,
Shabnam, Mushkaan while boys have names like Neeraj, Rahul etc”
“One day when my
mom took me to market, I really loved a frock, it was very pretty and I wanted
to buy it. However my mother refused stating that it’s for girls and boys
shouldn’t be wearing it”
The second session as
part of our ongoing ‘Gender, sexuality and reproductive health curriculum” with
adolescent boys of Government School, Dwarka was on “My Body is changing”. The
workshop began with sharing about the intention for the day- what is the topic
of the workshop, what is the need and what all may happen during the session.
Following the energizer
“Coin game”, the participants were divided into 5 groups where they were asked
to discuss on 2 given questions in their respective groups and then the points
of discussions were to be shared with the entire class.
I was seeing one group
discussing on the questions, so I thought to join them.
“What! Can’t you just
say it, why are you being shy like a girl?” said one boy
The other boy was
contemplating to respond, the first boy looked at me shocked as if someone has
caught him! I took this opportunity to speak to him-
Me: “So, do you think I
am shy?”
Boy: “No, not at all!”
Me: “Do you mean I am
not a girl then?”
Boy: “No, no, you are a
girl! I didn’t mean that”
Me: “But you said he
was being shy like a girl? So all girls should be shy?”
Boy: “Actually everyone
says that! But you are right being shy and being girl is different”
The outcomes of the
discussion during the first activity were very interesting and intriguing-
“While growing up, I was
referred to as Sahil beta, so I came to know that I am a boy”
“Once during playing, I
got injured and I heard my mother say, what happened to my boy- so I came to
know that I am a boy”
“I was 5 years old, I saw
a girl with very beautiful and long hairs so I asked my mom about why she has
such long hairs, it was she told me that girls should have long hairs and boys
like me should have short hairs”
“My dad was giving me
bath, I was not wearing anything and so I came to know that I am a boy”
“In my village, one day
I was running around naked, it was then I came to know that I am a boy”
“I was wearing clothes
which are supposed to be worn by girls, my dad scolded me and told me that I shouldn’t
be wearing all this because I am a boy”
“I came to know that I am
a boy because my father told me. He had brought different clothes and toys for
me and my sister- he said that toys should be ‘boy like’ for me and girls
should have toys like them”
“My friends told me
that I am a boy- I felt weird”
“I came to know that
girls should wear saree and boys should wear coat –pants, hearing this I felt
weird and sort of embarrassed”
“I came to know that
girls put on lipsticks and boys have to do shaving- I felt very shy about it.”
“I came to know about
this, when I saw my sister cooking food in the kitchen, so my father said girls
should cook. I felt very bad”
“I was given car to
play with so that made me understand that I am a boy because girls play with
dolls”
“When I got a haircut”
“When I bought set-wet
hair gel”
“When my big brother
got shaving gel”
“When my sister wore
saree”
“I was very happy when I
came to know that I am a boy because I would be able to go out anywhere I want
to”
“I felt good that I am
a boy because girls are not allowed to study, at least I will be able to study”
“I was playing with
girls, seeing that my mother told me that not to play with girls because I am a
boy”
“I was 3 years old,
when I went to school and saw different toilets for boys and girls. On asking
my father, he told me that i should be going to boy’s toilet because I am a boy.
I didn’t understand so I was confused and not happy”
“My mother told me that
I am a boy, after neighbors kept asking her about me”
“When I went to school
for the first time, then my parents told me that I am a boy”
“I felt very happy when
I heard my friends and certain girls say that boys can live freely, do whatever
they wish for”
The observations, the
thought process, the kind of debate that went into the small groups and the
sharing in the larger group were very crucial. It was not difficult to observe
that the things/evidences because of which they came to know that they are boys
are primarily the gender norms instead of physical attributes. It scares me
because at this naïve age their mindsets are being hovered with the gender stereotypes
boxing their senses to think in the most irrational binary ways while they could
have explored the world uninhibited.
In the next activity,
the participants were divided into 5 groups where they were asked to draw body
maps and discuss on the various aspects of growing up as asked in the 4 questions
followed by presentation.
It was difficult to
begin with the entire group activity, basically because it was for the first
time they were engaging in the team building exercise, so we supported them
into breaking the tasks, assigning it to the different individuals and finally
taking the reins into their hands as team member of team leader.
Another interesting
incident happened, while I was sitting with one of the groups- explaining the
activity and the discussion- all of a sudden they all became silent, I was
curious so I asked, very hesitantly one
of the boys asked me to leave because they felt shy in front of me.
I was really in awe of
the efforts that the participants were putting through in drawing the body map,
naming the body parts, discussing the questions- it seemed chaotic and
synchronized at the same time! The body maps were beautiful, very artistic and
yes after lot of difficulty, embarrassment and running around they succeeded in
drawing private parts.
Few of the discussion
points-
Good things about
growing up -
“Our brain gets
developed, we are able to understand things in a better way, we become stronger,
our height increase, we can fulfill our dreams, we can roam around freely, we
can do things on our own, and people who used to trouble us previously can no
longer do same when we grow up”
Bad things about
growing up-
We fall in bad company,
instead of studying we focus on sports, some of the kids start doing drugs, our
parents make us do more work, we lose our innocence, many a times we indulge in
bad habits”
One of the boys said, “The
challenging part of growing up is boys and girls get attracted to each other,
don’t know what to do about it”
Following this, we
discussed in detail what is puberty, what are the physical changes that happens
during adolescence along with the feelings associated with it, how and why
these changes take place- biology of human beings along with discussion on the
private organs of male and females through a presentation. We also talked about
periods (surprisingly few students were aware about the same) and wet dreams,
as always there were giggles, smiles, few people hiding their faces, looking at
the opposite directions but eventually they showed curiosity which was evident
with the knowing look.
“Didi, can we have the
link of the presentation?”
“Why?”
“This is interesting,
you gave lot of information, no one ever told us about this!”
And I could just smile :-)
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