“When I was very young,
I used to have long hairs tied in a ponytail, that time my father told me that I
am a boy and I should cut my hairs”, shared 12 year old participant.
After a brief revision
of what happened in the last workshop, to the agreements and introduction of
what will happen today, the participants were divided into 6 groups. They were
invited to share on 3 questions- When did they come to know that they are boy
or a girl? How did it feel? And who told them about being a boy or a girl?
“When I was 3 or 4
years old, I used to play with both boys and girls, then only I came to know
that I am a boy”
“When I used to play
with the dolls, that time my mother told me that I am boy and I shouldn’t be
playing with dolls”
“When i was young I used
to wear clothes that were worn by girls that time my mother told me that I am a
boy and I shouldn’t wear these clothes”
“I used to have both
boys and girls as my friends, but my mother told me to play with boys as I am
also a boy”
It was interesting to
hear that most of the boys didn’t feel different or happy after they came to
know about their gender, only 2-3 boys said that they were happy to know about
being boy since they can play or do whatever they feel like, contrary to girls
who at the same age feel not very good about knowing their gender as they feel
their independence is snatched from them!
In the next part of the
session, the participants were divided into 5 groups, they were invited to draw
body map, name all the organs visible in their body parts and discuss on the
questions based on the body changes. It was wonderful and I was stumped to see
the dedication and efforts being invested in drawing the body map and naming
the body parts. One of the group was very smart, they decided among themselves
that 3 of them would engage in body map and other 3 would be discussing and
writing the questions- excellent team work!
As I walked past the
groups, I could clearly see that they were naming all the body parts except the
private parts, so I prompted once, twice and thrice- after a burst of giggles-
all the groups drew the private parts accurately. I could clearly see the stark
difference in all girls and all boys group!- girls didn’t know the name of
their private organ let alone drawing it!
“The things I like
about growing up is height, physical strength”
“Beard, height- good
things”
“The skin becomes oily,
there are pimples on the face, hairs over the body- I don’t like these things about growing up”
“I can’t talk to
younger people, the pimples make my face look bad”
We were very happy with the efforts, body map and engagement with the participants. We then talked
about Puberty and adolescence- the age of physical, emotional, psychological
and societal changes; why these changes happen, what are the body changes that
happen, also about wet dreaming boys’ experience!
It was during these 15
minutes, there was pin drop silence, and they were listening with utmost
attention.
“Didi, but why are
doing these workshops” one of the participants asked after the closure
“Do you only do these
workshops or are you part of some organizations”
“We can’t talk about
these changes with anyone, not with the teachers, forget about parents, then
why are you talking about it?”
Yes, the seed to ask
questions has been sown and these young children are bubbling with the
questions. I couldn’t be more happy!!
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